IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In some countries, there are fewer young people who listen to or play classical music these days. Why is this? Should young people be encouraged to play or perform classical music?

#countries #people #music
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It is apparent that fewer and fewer millennials enjoy a taste of classical
music
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 across countries. The reasons that are a change of
music
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 lover’s perception and demand for being financially and professional to perform
this
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 genre. In my perspective, it is meaningless to encourage the young generation to pursue chamber
music
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.
First
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 of all, since people tend to listen to other genres that have
subsequently
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 developed, classical
music
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 lost a majority of the audience. Modern genres are associated with a bustle living style whereas classical
music
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 has a slow and gentle melody, which is different to youth
behavior
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behaviour
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, so it is no wonder that it is not easy to wind the heart of the listeners. Rock
music
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,
for instance
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, has a powerful harmony that reflects today’s fast pace life.
Secondly
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, classical
music
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 is picky for players, so that not many young people tolerate their financial and professional requirements. Musical instruments are quite expensive, as well as its long-term training course. One example is that a pianist occasionally has to go through six to seven years to meet the musical academy’s standards.
Thus
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, the invasion of today’s musical types and high requisite accounts for a downward trend of classical
music
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Nevertheless
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, it is pointless to compel children to study and listen to classical
music
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 despite its long term existence. Performers have their own right to opt for what musical genre is suitable. Unless they have their inner motivation, they will intentionally follow their
music
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 interest regardless of their adversity.
Moreover
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, there is no justification to force students to find costly and onerous reactional activities. Being genuine passion is more necessary than parental pressure, or it will be counterproductive. To conclude, young people
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,
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enjoy
music
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 which is prevalent in society rather than classical
music
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. Due to its pricey equipment and a long period of education, it is unnecessary to incite the younger generation chasing it.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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