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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Small businesses are disappearing and being replaced by large multinational companies. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#businesses #companies #outweigh
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In
this
 contemporary era, large enterprises are replacing small
businesses
. In my opinion, it is a negative development towards society as it may restrict the growth of the community in terms of employment.
This
 essay shall justify my opinion in the ensuing paragraphs. To commence with,
While
 there are benefits of having multinational
companies
 for managing the global economy, I would agree that nations with small
businesses
 offer more advantages to societies. small venture often brings personalised, customer-focused services
along with
 valuable aspects.
Besides
, it helps to create courageous
businesses
 with new innovations and technology.
Moreover
, the local market takes up more job opportunities for the community workers which brings amalgamation in the economic status of society.
For instance
, In India after covid 65% of the growth has been seen in the local home
businesses
 which are mainly run by women.
Hence
, it helps to generate a family income.
On the other hand
, foreign
companies
 can bring standardization of products which potentially reduces the diversity and uniqueness of local offerings.
In addition
 , it comes up with more competitive prices for consumers
due to
 economies of scale.
Furthermore
, employees are being selected by particular criteria
such
 as education, appearance and communication skills which filter out many normal individuals.
For example
,
companies
 like Reliance select their employee by their looks,
this
 is very hard for a highly educated person with average looks to get into
this
 job. In conclusion, to reiterate my opinion,
Although
, international
companies
 help countries to develop at the global level, small
businesses
 outweigh the merits.
Submitted by joshiami7570 on

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Task Response
Clarify your thesis statement in the introduction by directly addressing the 'advantages outweigh the disadvantages' aspect.
Task Response
Expand on your ideas by including more specific examples and explaining how these examples support your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance cohesion by better linking paragraphs and ideas together with a range of cohesive devices.
Coherence and Cohesion
In the conclusion, summarise the key points of your argument more clearly and restate your opinion in relation to the essay prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve logical structure, ensure each main body paragraph has a clear central idea that is distinct from the other paragraphs.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Displacement
  • Economies of scale
  • Local economies
  • Standardization
  • Cultural homogenization
  • Personalized service
  • Innovation
  • Community investments
  • Environmental impact
  • Competitive prices
  • Tax contributions
  • Job losses
  • Cultural diversity
  • Local employment opportunities
What to do next:
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