We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#world #communities #countries

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In recent years, the means of supporting exotic countries has become controversial around the

world

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. Some people assume that people should more concern about neighbours' circumstance, who need to care. Regarding

this

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issue, I partially agree with what has been mentioned above. Following are the reasons.

To begin

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with, supporting the nation's people is more valuable for public interest promotion.

In other words

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, near us, there are

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apply

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plenty of people who have taken a hit on their situations, while other residents would know which manners will be profitable to lent other's helping hand. If people provide appropriate opportunities for them, it would bring positive results in society.

Moreover

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, it would be positive for not only receiving people but

also

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donator as the sense of belonging to their community.

Therefore

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, if people could not battle the entire problems around the

world

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, it is desirable for donation to the near side people.

However

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on the other hand

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, the international aid way has merits as well. More importantly, it could promote the international economic situation. For Korea example based on real experience, in the past,

this

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country

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was the poorest

country

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among others,

however

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, for many developed countries subsidies,

this

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country

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could overcome quickly. After that,

this

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nation ranked highly in the technology industry and brings amazing impacts on the

world

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Hence

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, it is undeniable that helping poverty countries will provide effective factors. In conclusion, as mentioned above,

although

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helping their own

country

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's people has seen to be profitable, people

also

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need to care for other countries as their needs.

Thus

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, it is convincing for the governments and relevant organizations would be nice to establish new suitable orders for around the

world

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Submitted by kooji6856 on Mon Dec 28 2020

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

280 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

global interconnectivity
international cooperation
ethics
moral obligation
geographical borders
diplomatic relations
economic stability
global security
resource allocation
expertise
international aid
dependency and development
sustainable solutions
local and global initiatives
community resilience

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