Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes, and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both views and give your own opnion

#people #children #choices #matters #food #clothes #entertainment #society #individuals #decisions #opnion

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It is often argued that giving kids the freedom to make

decisions

Use synonyms

for things that directly affect them is not a wise choice as it makes them more self-centred;

however

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, others disagree and opine that it can help them to make better

decisions

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in future.

This

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essay agrees that

children

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are not rational enough to make their own

decisions

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and allowing them to do so makes them stubborn.

To begin

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with, making smart

decisions

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requires evaluating the advantages and disadvantages of the available options. Most

children

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make choices which make them instantly happy even if it is not beneficial to themselves and others in the long run.

Consequently

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, if

children

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are given complete independence in making choices, they will be habituated to choose things which instantly gratify them despite having adverse effects on others.

For example

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although

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continuous consumption of chocolates is detrimental to their teeth, they will consume them if given the freedom to buy leading to unnecessary dental expenses for their parents. Some individuals like to believe that giving them the autonomy to decide aids in the development of their intellectual abilities related to evaluating the various choices on hand.

As a result

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, they can make wiser

decisions

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about their career and life.

However

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this

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point of view only applies to those who can understand that they have made a mistake and learn from it. Since kids can’t thoroughly evaluate the effects of their actions, in my point of view, it is illogical to expect

this

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behaviour of learning from their mistakes from

children

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To conclude

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, kids should not be given leeway to decide what they want to buy because it makes them more

self-centered

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self-centred

show examples

as they will be most likely to choose something which gives them instant gratification even if it is bad for them in future.

Submitted by aayushvsanghvi8 on Wed Apr 03 2024

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Specific Examples

To improve your score, try to include more specific examples that directly support your arguments. This helps in making your points more vivid and persuasive.

Balanced Argument

Consider elaborating more on the opposing view. Addressing and refuting counterarguments can strengthen your own position and show a deeper understanding of the topic.

Linking Words

Work on linking your ideas more smoothly to improve the flow of your essay. This can be accomplished by using a wider range of linking words and phrases.

Structure

Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps in conveying your arguments effectively.

Task Response

You effectively addressed the prompt by discussing both viewpoints and providing your own opinion, which is essential for this type of task.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

300 words

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Include an introduction and conclusion

some people believe that the internet is increasing the gap between rich and poor, while other believe it helps to reduce this gap. discuss both views and give your opinion.

some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortages of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?

For all children, the ability to play a musical instrument is just as important as the ability to read and write.’ How far do you agree with this suggestion? How important is it for a child to learn to play a musical instrument, in your view?

Today our communications, medicine and transport systems all depend on computer technology. Our reliance on computer technology in these fields has created a dangerous situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?