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Writing Samples
Band 4

Globalization has both advantages and disadvantages. Discuss both and give your opinion.

Globalisation refers to the movement of
people
Use synonyms
, culture and things.
However
Linking Words
, it has both merits and demerits. In the following paragraphs, I intend to discuss
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 both
pros
Correct article usage
the pros
show examples
 and cons of the given notion and put forward my opinion. One of the major benefits of globalisation is the exchange of culture and knowledge. At present, there are many individuals who know customs, traditions, languages and clothing of other
countries
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they try to follow the same.
For instance
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, earlier,
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 food items or commodities were only available in certain
countries
Use synonyms
,
since
Correct word choice
but since
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 individuals started travelling around the world, everyone is able to taste
such
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 cuisines.
Secondly
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, technology has influenced many with Uber, Swiggy,
Zomato
Correct word choice
and Zomato
show examples
Linking Words
consequently
Punctuation problem
; consequently
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 lifestyle of
people
Use synonyms
Linking Words
also
Verb problem
has also
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 improved. On the downside, when
people
Use synonyms
 started moving around, the value of tradition and culture has diminished.
In addition
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, relationships have the least importance than before as everyone is focused on their personal preferences.
For example
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, recently in
India
Punctuation problem
India,
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 couples stay apart to improve
financial
Correct pronoun usage
their financial
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 status
leaving
Punctuation problem
, leaving
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 their children and parents in other places. They meet once in a
while
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 during festivals or vacations.
Although
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 it is said that technology tries to connect
people
Use synonyms
 from other
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
show examples
, it has actually widened the gap in most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
families. After pondering upon both the views, in my opinion, globalisation has more advantages as it has helped in the development of weaker
countries
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 it is a loss for their nation, the other country is able to improve.
However
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,
people
Use synonyms
 try for their individual development for
that
Punctuation problem
that,
show examples
 they try to migrate and settle down in a better country.
For example
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, there are individuals who
worked
Verb problem
have worked
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 in multiple
countries
Use synonyms
 and
settle
Wrong verb form
have settled
show examples
 in the place where they are provided with good facilities. To summarise, it is irrefutable that
such
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 interaction and integration have pros and cons .
Therefore
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, development is required for the upliftment of any nation.

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structure
Make a real plan before you write. Start with a short intro, then two clear points for the good side and two for the bad side, and end with your view.
content
Add more detail for each point. Use clear facts or short examples that fit the point.
language
Fix grammar and use simple, direct forms. Use one idea per sentence and keep tense.
coherence
Use linking words to show how ideas go with each other, like 'also', 'but', 'for example'.
content
The essay keeps a clear view and asks for the issue.
content
Examples are used to show ideas there.
structure
There is a plan to talk about both sides before giving a view.
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