IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Human relationships can be affected by technology proliferation The technology development has affected social relationships from person to person. Do the positive aspects of this trend outweigh the negative aspects?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Issues related to new technology are discussed these days. It is argued that human interactions have been affected by the enhancement of technology.
Although
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 trend has some drawbacks, I would argue that there are more benefits. The explanation will be shown in
this
Linking Words
 essay. On the one hand, there are several merits of upcoming
technologies
Use synonyms
. The principal merit is that development allows us to communicate more effectively. To explain, thanks to the internet network,
people
Use synonyms
 can commune with others throughout the world in real-time while ancestors cannot.
Thus
Linking Words
, high-tech device would be a powerful tool which involves in working process today.
For instance
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 have conferenced even though they are living in other parts of the world. Another point is that
technologies
Use synonyms
 can improve the quality of modern life.
In other words
Linking Words
, new
technologies
Use synonyms
 have a positive impact on human’s daily life since the machinery can lead human to be more convenient than the prior era. A good example is that students living in Thailand can study online from home through the internet decreasing the cost of transportation as well as the spread of COVID-19 pandemic. On the other hands, there are some demerits associated with developing
technologies
Use synonyms
. The main reason to consider is Online fraud.
This
Linking Words
 means that many kinds of cybercrime have rapidly increased over the recent years;
such
Linking Words
 as online shopping fraud and E-commerce deception. Since nowadays everyone can access the internet and fake their profiles.
As a result
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 scare
to begin
Linking Words
 their relationship with others because of some untrustworthy
people
Use synonyms
. An additional point is that there is less opportunity for communicating face-to-face in society.
In other words
Linking Words
, humans have been often distracted by their
t
Add an article
a
the
show examples
echnical device which can result in relationships with their peers. A good example is that some colleagues had disputed because of playing games on a mobile phone
instead
Linking Words
 of writing group report. In conclusion, I am of the opinion that
although
Linking Words
 the benefits of the improvement of technology quite outweigh the drawbacks in terms of social relationships, everyone should carefully use it.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: