A government has a responsibility to its citizens to ensure their safety. Therefore, some people think that the government should increase spending on defence but spend less on social benefits. To what extent do you agree?
It is of paramount importance to protect populations by the government. Some consider that the regulators should emphasize spending an extended budget on national defence rather than spending on social welfare. As the vitality of both subjects, these should be symmetrically examined. In
this
essay, I will look into related factors and illustrate my opinion on this
.
It is believed by some that national security should be strengthened by the policies and further
amount of expenditure should be reflected in long-term planning and strategies. This
is because there is a major concern that the country may face an international fight although
we are living in a modern era, there are some countries such
as Lebanon, Ukraine and Afghanistan that are experiencing serious war these days. Thus
, a number of residents think that the cost of national protection should be prioritised and reconsidered.
By contrast
, many countries are facing issues with social welfare facilities and functions as the human growth and ageing population. For instance
, there are many elders who have challenges as a lack of family support and financial support and these people definitely have to be supported by their mother country. On top of that supporting society in many ways has an impact on sustainable economic growth which in return the development of the country will be sustained. Therefore
, it is beneficial to better support the area of social community for long-term success.
In conclusion, I opine that focusing on both the national defence and social welfare should be equally treated as crucial. Therefore
balancing the budget on both should be maintained for the development of the countries.Submitted by yumituul on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure clarity and avoid vague phrases. Some sentences can be made clearer with better word choice and structure.
task achievement
Include more specific examples and details to strengthen your arguments. For example, detail the impact of prioritizing one over the other with statistics or specific cases.
task achievement
While the balance argument is sound, providing a more critical analysis of the potential downsides of not increasing defense or social spending would broaden the perspective.
content
The essay discusses both sides of the issue, offering a balanced view.
structure
The introduction and conclusion are present and clearly state the central argument of the essay.
coherence
The transition between ideas and paragraphs is smooth, helping the essay flow logically.