More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. some people say that the price increase of fattening food will solve this problem .to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #price #food

There is no doubt that obesity is

one

of the most important health problems we need to solve in a short period of time.

While

some people believe that

one

solution could be increasing

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

fast-

food

prices, others argue that we need to go

one

step forward and implement more actions. In

this

essay, I will support with examples why I tend to agree with both of them.

Firstly

, a sedentary and unhealthy lifestyle is the main factor we need to change urgently.

Moreover

, we need to re-educate society and show them how exercise and healthy

food

can reduce their weight.

For instance

, nowadays

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

schools that have incorporated specific foodstuff lessons in their programme have fewer children with obesity and diseases related to weight. If we do not teach them how to eat or move, we can not pretend to solve

this

problem.

On the other hand

it is clear that

the increase

Change preposition

show examples

fattening meal prices could be a massive help.

Furthermore

, not everybody can purchase expensive foodstuff, so, the increment in the prices of unhealthy

food

could become a great help to

avoid

Verb problem

prevent

show examples

people

to consume

Change preposition

from consuming

show examples

it.

For instance

, adolescents usually eat hamburgers or pizzas because they are cheaper than other types of

food

. If

this

type of

food

became expensive to them, they would not be able to buy it.

As a consequence

, the percentage of the unfit population would decrease. To summarize,

although

I accept that some people prefer

one

method to the other, I firmly believe that the combination of both of them could be the perfect strategy to fight against the overweight issue.

Submitted by cristina.arino on Wed Jan 27 2021

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Task Response

Well-developed argument with clear examples supporting both sides of the argument. Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction for better coherence.

Coherence and Cohesion

Good use of transitions and linking words to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. Work on improving the introduction and conclusion to enhance the overall coherence of the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

270 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. some people say that the price increase of fattening food will solve this problem .to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In many countries, the umber of animals and plants is decreasing. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?

Art classes, such as painting and drawing are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in highschools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some parents say that children should play individually more than in a group. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this and include your own opinion.