IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

You have just moved into a new home and are planning to hold a party. You are worried that the noise may disturb your neighbour. Write a letter to your neighbour. In your letter, introduce yourself describe your plans for the party invite your neighbour to come You should write at least 150 words.

#home #party #noise #neighbour #plans
Dear John, I hope
this
 letter finds you in good health and best of spirits. I am Navneet, I have moved to apartment number 32 just next to you
this
 month with my husband, mother and father. I
work
Wrong verb form
have worked
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 as a senior accountant at D.C Travellers
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 10 years. My husband cleared the law exam
last
 week and can pursue
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a criminal lawyer at the firms so, we want to throw a small commemoration on
this
 happy event during the following week. Another reason for the celebration is that my parents are coming 50 years on July, 2. Both are relentlessly vital events in my family.
Hence
, we have invited all our near ones. I would like to extend you the invitation to join us and enjoy. I have made all the possible arrangements to control the noise by using sound control at the front door and by arranging some short games for kids to keep them busy. I will try my best to keep the noise level to a minimum. Hoping to meet you at the party. Yours sincerely, Navneet Kaur.
Submitted by ss6802125 on

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task achievement
You introduced yourself well, but providing a little more detail about your family members (e.g., their professions or hobbies) might make the introduction more warm and engaging.
coherence cohesion
While your letter had a logical structure, consider adding more transition words or phrases to improve the flow. For instance, use words like 'First of all,' 'Moreover,' or 'Additionally' to better connect your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your letter would benefit from a bit of proofreading to correct minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'can pursue as a criminal lawyer at the firms' (which could be 'can pursue a career as a criminal lawyer at a law firm').
suitable writing tone
The tone of the letter is friendly and considerate, which is appropriate for this type of correspondence.
task achievement
Your invitation to the neighbor is warm and inclusive, and you made an effort to address the potential noise issue by mentioning arrangements for noise control, which shows consideration for their comfort.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • housewarming
  • neighbourhood
  • settle in
  • concern
  • apologize
  • disturbance
  • kindly
  • considerate
  • join
  • gathering
  • introduce
  • socialize
  • appreciate
  • understanding
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