IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Technological development leads to lots of environmental issues. Some people think a simple life style can preserve environment while others argue that technology itself can solve it. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge of experience

#development #lots #people #life #style #environment #technology
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It has been an ongoing argument among people that developments in
technology
Use synonyms
 impact the environment negatively. Other people believe that we can fix the problems that arise from advancing technologically.
This
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 essay will discuss both opinions
although
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, I am of the opinion that environmental issues can be fixed by using
technology
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
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, it is true that talks on climate change and ways to mitigate it were initiated because of our fast-developing
technology
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.
For instance
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, the quality of the air we breathe has greatly deteriorated in the
last
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 100 years. Another example is global warming
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 has caused sea levels to rise precariously
as a result
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 of melting icebergs. It has
also
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 caused many plants and animal species to go extinct. Living an idyllic lifestyle would have certainly prevented all these and many more.
On the other
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hand
Add a comma
hand,
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 though, it is argued that all the negative effects we see today were always bound to happen. Technological advancements make it so that we are
well equipped
Add a hyphen
well-equipped
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 to deal with the drawbacks of our unending quest for improvement.
For example
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, we now have chemicals that can be placed in the air to improve its quality.
Furthermore
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, the feats that we have been able to gain in various areas are
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as
Change preposition
apply
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a result of the new information we are exposed to from years of research. The quality of our lives
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 greatly improved because of
technology
Use synonyms
 and
this
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 makes the negatives worth it. In conclusion, for the greater good, we have had to have a decline in the environment, we have realized that we may be going too fast and we are currently employing
knowledge
Correct article usage
the knowledge
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 we have because we have better machinery and science to improve it.
Submitted by nsidibe.una on

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Task Response
Provide a more detailed explanation of why technology can solve environmental issues.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure a clear introduction that includes a thesis statement outlining your stance on the issue.
Coherence and Cohesion
Add transition words to help guide the reader through your arguments more effectively.
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