In today's world, private companies rather than the government pay for and conduct most scientific research. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In
this
age of massive Technological Advancement, many contributors have come forward to invest in it. And here we are now where apart from
government
bodies, most interested parties are the private companies paying and conducting most of the scientific research. In
this
essay,we will discuss if the advantages are far ahead of the disadvantages or vice versa. The much-awaited generation has arrived for those eager scientists and inventors, who were waiting for resources and financial support to do their research.
Firstly
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent inventions have shifted the economic goals of many countries, and
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
associated with
such
positive drift can definitely help the private sector in making more money.
Secondly
,
this
money can support all sorts of technological advancement and understand new areas of research.
For example
, Elon Musk has taken the initiative to launch more
mission
Fix the agreement mistake
missions
show examples
to Mars. He has created his own space centre and a team of experts, who will assist in succeeding the project.
Moreover
, he is doing it without the help of the
government
.
Hence
, many
such
sectors have put forward their feet to go
along with
it.
On the other hand
, the major factor which people don't understand is "Money making".
This
is a way in which these private companies will earn more,
increase
Correct word choice
and increase
show examples
their stocks, and with every success
government
bodies will depend on them one by one.
Furthermore
, the ulterior motive behind
such
helping hands, every company has a mission that's why these are private because the only thing which matters to them is the profit
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
of a product.
For example
, Elon
musk
Capitalize word
Musk
show examples
investing
Replace the word
investment
show examples
in space mission automatically means, soaring sales of Tesla cars, because users all around the world are getting interested in him,
hence
interested in the product as well. In conclusion, though there are certain advantages linked to
this
point the disadvantages are far riskier which can lead to a
beaurocratic
Correct your spelling
bureaucratic
ruling if
this
persists.
Hence
, the
government
should
buckle-up
Correct your spelling
buckle up
show examples
and read between the lines of what's happening around them.
Submitted by bhattacharyatania0 on

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task response
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coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, and the main points are logically presented. However, there are some instances where the coherence and flow of ideas could be improved.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • scientific research
  • private sector
  • government funding
  • technological innovation
  • competitive nature
  • profitable outcomes
  • conflict of interest
  • corporate bias
  • economic stimulation
  • public interest
  • non-profitable
  • public welfare
  • commercial applications
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