IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Each year, the crime rate increases. What are the causes of crime and what could be done to prevent this rise in criminal activity. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#year #crime #rate #increases #rise #activity
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In today’s unstable word
people
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 face with many problems,
one
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 of them is increased
crime
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 rate. There are a lot of reasons for
this
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 issue
such
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 as poverty, migration, low social help, lack of jobs, especially well-paid jobs and social media. In my essay I would like to talk about two reasons: poverty and juvenile
crime
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. Nowadays more and more well-developed West countries face with migration problem. A lot of
people
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 migrate to Europe and United States mainly due to war, political instability, running from extreme poverty, or because of many other reasons. Most of these
people
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 don’t have any professional skills and cannot find any job for a long time.
However
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, they need to feed their families and themselves and
one
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 of the most popular options among many is to start selling drugs or robbery. In new we can often hear
such
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 cases especially in districts where main habitants are migrant or refuges. Many politicians support an idea to apply strict restrictions on the migration rules and laws.
Second
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,
one
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 of the emergent trends is juvenile
crime
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. Kids and juniors are immature and can be easily influence by some criminals. In the USA number of crimes committed by
people
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 under 18 is growing 5
last
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 years. Mainly, those kids are being arrested during selling or delivering drugs. The key reason why those kids committing a
crime
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 as they don’t have what to do after school all sport, social activities are paid and their parents can afford it. So, they are playing on the streets without any oversee from parent and becoming an easy catch for drug sellers or other criminal group.
One
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 of the most discussed solution is new sport facilities and after school, obligatory activities. To conclude, there are some intimidating trends arise in society which leads to increase in
crime
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 rate. But we have means, probably not to fully eliminate but to stop increasing
this
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 number even more.
Submitted by ivan.s.kononenko.homemail on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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