Some people believe that personal happiness is directly related to economic success, Others believe that there are other factors. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Delightedness is based on the triumph of wealth achievement whilst others consider that there are other aspects to conquer to gain enjoyment in life. From my perspective, the fund is not the main factor where honours and pride confer a person cheerful period. There are both pros and cons of

this

Linking Words

argument.

To begin

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with, happiness is not a thing that

Delete the pronoun

apply

show examples

can be purchased. To be relaxed in life a folk must need

tension-free

Add an article

a tension-free

show examples

heart. As a consequence, he has to achieve people affection where it cannot be taken in one day. If a man has enough cash it is not guaranteed that he is a happy person in his personal period. He has to mix with his human generally so that he can apprehend the internal feelings of concerned people.

For instance

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, by helping disaster folks one can understand the internal disaster condition of that human and he would be eager to help that community.

Thus

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, those folks remember that individual forever and that man gets pride from that helpless person where there is a feeling of joy and amusement.

On the contrary

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, it is not only that money has no contribution but

also

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it has a great value to help disaster family.

Hence

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, if a man has wealth he can purchase anything.

Moreover

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, he can

also

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buy any expensive substances where he was demanding it many time ago. By gaining the costly things he can enjoy it which gives him a lot of pleasures.

For example

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, if folks have decent money he can buy a car which can cope up with his luxurious life and he can maintain his aristocracy with his society.

Also

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, if he can purchase aircraft he could

also

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meet up his travelling demand where he dreamt it aforetime. In conclusion, do useful things for anyone is the main key to happiness.

Also

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, in my opinion, there is no alternative way to assist poor people to feel peach in mind.

However

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, to buy expensive things there are no other

options

Verify preposition usage

foroptions

show examples

spending money.

Submitted by Sadiq on Mon Feb 15 2021

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

338 words

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Some people believe that personal happiness is directly related to economic success, Others believe that there are other factors. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Children are facing more pressures nowadays from academic, social and commercial, perspectives. What are the causes of these pressures and what rneasures should be taken to reduce these pressures?

Sport is becoming a business. More and more companies ar Do you think that it is a positive or negative development?

The Internet is probably the most significant invention of the last 30 years. Without it, our lives would be completely different. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

it is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?