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Band 5

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

#week #workers #weekend
A normal
weekend
 involves two days in almost all countries. In the past, it was only one day and governments decided to make it two, gradually.
However
, some argue that even
this
 amount should be higher. In
this
 essay, I will outline both views' possible good or adverse effects. On the one hand, having
longer
Correct article usage
a longer
show examples
weekend
 can lead to
higher
Add an article
a higher
the higher
show examples
 probability of getting depressed
due to
 the overwhelming with free
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
 and doing nothing.
In addition
, struggling with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
problems at work or conquering an area of interest in a company encourages you to improve and
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not get used to routines. I strongly agree with the corresponding idea.
However
, some individuals believe it
does
Verb problem
is
show examples
 not worth working hard and that amount of time
dedication
Correct word choice
and dedication
show examples
.
On the other hand
,
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
weekend
Add an article
a weekend
the weekend
show examples
, most people spend their time with their families, generally.
Hence
, they would be happier if they had longer weekends.
Moreover
, they are enthusiastic about having some additional off-day to relax.
On the contrary
,
this
 can affect the process of development of a society in terms of working
labors
Change the spelling
labours
show examples
 at the offices. Despite having emotional satisfaction, the speed of improvement will be decreased.
Therefore
, each company has to assess the trade-off. All in all, there must be lots of demands for longer
weekend
Fix the agreement mistake
weekends
show examples
 from people all around the globe. But I do not agree with the idea of relaxing for more than two days. Companies can enact some policies for these kinds of problems to push their staff
work
Fix the infinitive
to work
show examples
 harder and
more
Add a missing verb
be more
show examples
 productive.
Submitted by aneizehbaz on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Strive for a more cohesive flow of ideas with clearer transitions between paragraphs. This can help the reader follow your line of reasoning more easily.
Task Achievement
Consider using more specific examples or case studies to support your points, which could help justify and elaborate on your argument further.
Task Achievement
Try to develop clearer, more comprehensive ideas in your writing. This could involve adding more detail or providing additional explanation for your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay includes both introductory and concluding paragraphs, which helps to frame the discussion effectively.
Task Achievement
The essay presents a nuanced discussion of both views, which demonstrates an attempt to engage deeply with the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
What to do next:
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