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Writing Samples /
Band 4

Teachers used to convey information but now with wide resources of information Some people think that there is no role for teachers to play in modern education others disagree Discuss both views and give your opinion

#teachers #information #resources #people #role #education
In modern society, with the development of technology, many people argue whether
teachers
 continue to play an essential role in
education
. In my opinion, I disagree with the opinion that
teachers
 have lost their importance in
education
due to
 the abundant resources on the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
. Both sides of the argument will be explained. On the one hand, it is irrefutable that the computer and the
internet
 made possible distance
education
 and
on-line
Correct your spelling
online
show examples
education
. In
this
 regard, computers are a benefit for people who live in remote areas because they can
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
study any time of the day or night with
internet
 access.
This
 has made
education
 approachable for many who cannot for some reason or the other
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
attend university.
For example
,
in
Change preposition
during
show examples
covid 19
Correct your spelling
the COVID-19
 pandemic periods, students can stay at their homes to study academic
pieces of
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
knowledge on the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
instead
 of going to school.
On the other hand
, there are many reasons why
teachers
 can never lose their importance. First of all,
teachers
 add their own knowledge gained through experience to that of books and other resources. In the learning and practice of more complex ideas, they can show where the student went wrong
while
 the computer cannot.
Secondly
,
Teachers
 are role
model
Fix the agreement mistake
models
show examples
 for students. They
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not only teach academic subjects
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
 many social skills
such
 as behaviour with peers. All in all, I believe that there is no doubt that model resources have changed
education
 from a teacher-oriented one to a student-centred one, but the teacher will always hold their importance and can never be replaced by any technology.
Submitted by vttha22 on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the overall logical structure of the essay by organizing the ideas more clearly and coherently.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion effectively address the topic and provide a clear stance on the issue.
coherence cohesion
Support your points more comprehensively and provide relevant examples with clearer connections to the main arguments.
task achievement
Provide a more complete response to the task by addressing all aspects of the topic and expressing clear, comprehensive ideas.
task achievement
Ensure that the examples provided are relevant and effectively support the main arguments in a more specific manner.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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