IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Many working people get little or no exercise during the work day, and have health problems as a result. -Why do so many people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem? -Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #exercise #work #health #-why #-give
Many professionals find it hard to get
time
 for their workout on weekdays. The main reason behind
this
 is not having
time
-management and an unplanned
day
 and
week
, in order to resolve it, one should outline the plan for the whole
day
 and
week
, it can improve their physically and mentally. People working extra hours and focusing only on professional life keep them away from the GYM or exercise. An unorganized work or unplanned
day
 ruins the whole
week
 and sometimes people’s life by keeping them mentally disturbed.
For instance
, according to a recent survey, 60% of successful CEOs in the Middle East could not give proper
time
 to their families and themselves for a workout or other social activities. There are many solutions, but planning a
day
 and
week
 is the best. In
this
 modern, era people are attached to the smartphone and applications like Google planner is popular, which reminds and assists them to complete tasks on
time
 and organize the whole
day
 well.
For example
, Mr Akshay Kumar, an actor from Bollywood, goes for jogging and yoga in the morning at 4.00 am every
day
 and afterwards to the early to the work. He is setting an example for the
next
 generation. Even at the age of 55, he looks young and energetic and doing more films than younger actors. To conclude, individuals without proper goals and planning struggle a lot in finding
time
 for exercise on working days, but apps like Google planner and mindset can help them to manage it well, which can result in good health.
Submitted by MK on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: