Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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The issue of reducing
crime
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rates is complex. Some believe that a more effective way to deter
crime
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is to impose longer prison
sentences
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, as longer imprisonment can deter potential offenders and keep them away from society for a longer time, thereby reducing criminal
behavior
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behaviour
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.
Additionally
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, others believe there are better methods to minimize
crime
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,
such
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as addressing the root causes of
crime
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through
education
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, social support, and preventive measures. Proponents of longer
sentences
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argue that
this
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brings a sense of security to society, as criminals will spend a long time in prison.
Moreover
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, longer
sentences
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provide criminals with more time and resources for
education
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and reflection, potentially reducing their likelihood of reoffending.
However
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, critics point out that excessively long
sentences
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can lead to overcrowding in prisons, increase economic burdens, and negatively affect the families and social relationships of the offenders.
On the other hand
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, advocates of other methods argue that addressing the root causes of
crime
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through
education
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and preventive measures is more effective.
For instance
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, by providing
education
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and vocational training, individuals can achieve better living conditions,
thus
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reducing their motivation to commit crimes.
Additionally
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, social support and mental health services can assist those who might commit crimes
due to
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psychological issues. These methods not only reduce
crime
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but
also
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promote long-term stability and development in society. I believe that
while
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extending prison
sentences
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may be necessary in certain cases, we should focus more on
crime
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prevention and
education
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, providing greater social support and educational opportunities.
Overall
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, reducing
crime
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is a complex issue that requires multifaceted efforts and a comprehensive approach.

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task achievement
Your introduction effectively presents the topic and both views, but could be improved by stating your opinion more clearly at the end.
task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or case studies to strengthen your arguments and support for both views.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that the transitions between ideas are smooth for better cohesion.
coherence and cohesion
In your conclusion, reiterate your opinion more forcefully to underline your stance on the issue clearly.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and covers both perspectives effectively.
coherence and cohesion
The vocabulary used is varied and appropriate, contributing to the clarity of your arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • deterrent
  • incapacitating
  • rehabilitation
  • recidivism
  • underlying issues
  • desperation
  • community service
  • mental health support
  • reintegration
  • prevention
  • offenders
  • punitive measures
  • support systems
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