IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country.
 Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#governments #progress #people #country
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
People
Use synonyms
 have different views on how
progress
Use synonyms
 should be measured in their
countries
Use synonyms
. Economic
progress
Use synonyms
 is believed by a growing number of
people
Use synonyms
 to be the most fundamental goal which should be achieved, while I agree with those who think that authorities should place equal importance on other kinds of
progress
Use synonyms
 as well. On the one hand, economic growth is a key consideration when judging improvement in
countries
Use synonyms
.
Such
Linking Words
 growth is vital for
countries
Use synonyms
 as it can provide
people
Use synonyms
 with more job opportunities which can result in
alleviate
Change the verb form
alleviating
show examples
 poverty.
In other words
Linking Words
, as governments attain more economical goals, the sources of funds would increase and
people
Use synonyms
 who are in charge would be able to
creat
Correct your spelling
create
show examples
 more jobs with higher salaries.
As a result
Linking Words
, as
people
Use synonyms
 would earn more money,the rate of poverty would increase and more
people
Use synonyms
 would enjoy welfare.
Therefore
Linking Words
, placing a premium on making
progress
Use synonyms
 in
monetory
Correct your spelling
monetary
firlds
Correct your spelling
fields
 is of benefit for citizens.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are other types of
progress
Use synonyms
 ,
such
Linking Words
 as environmental and mental ones, which should be made by governments because they are as crucial as
econoic
Correct your spelling
economic
 growth. Making
progress
Use synonyms
 in the environmental fields is vitally important for
countries
Use synonyms
. Enhancing
countries
Use synonyms
’ environmental status by accomplishing eco-friendly goals ,
such
Linking Words
 as planting more trees and minimizing the amount of air pollution, can result in
survival
Correct article usage
the survival
show examples
 of our
next
Linking Words
 generation and
preservation
Correct article usage
the preservation
show examples
 of the earth.
In addition
Linking Words
 ,making
progress
Use synonyms
 in
people
Use synonyms
’s mental well-being is considered to be so important because unless
people
Use synonyms
 are mentally healthy, the other kinds of
progress
Use synonyms
 will unable to be achieved and
also
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 will not have a sense of satisfaction in their lives. In conclusion, even though the significance of economic
progress
Use synonyms
 is undeniable, governments should make
progress
Use synonyms
 in
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 and citizens’ mental health.
Submitted by suna.habibi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: