Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace (e.g. at home, when travelling, etc.). Do the benefits of this mobility outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
These days a lot of
people
can do their jobs from home, the place they travel, and so on because of developments in information technology. I believe the advantages of this
mobility outweigh the drawbacks.
To begin
with, some people
say that remote work
will cause a lack of communication. They need to use phones or chat emails to talk with each other. It seems bothersome and sometimes it becomes more difficult to consult, convey, and manage someone. As a result
, they misunderstand about work
.
On the other hand
, there are more advantages to working from wherever people
like. Firstly
, they can reduse
their commute Correct your spelling
reduce
time
. There are a lot of Japanese who take time
over an hour to go to their workplace. If they can cut this
time
, they can do more hobbies, house chores,etc. In addition
, people
don’t need to use much time
to chat which is not related to their tasks. When people
work
in an office, generally, they have an amount of chat every day, which makes their relationship better. To tell the truth, this
is always their work
inefficient. When they work
outside their workplace, there is no need to care about their colleagues. Thus
, people
can more concentrate on working.
In conclusion, I believe that the benefits of working outside the workplace outweigh the disadvantages. But it is true that some companies have trouble communicating with employees,
when they do full remote Remove the comma
apply
work
. It is necesaryto
construct systems to make a comfortable job environment in which all working Correct your spelling
necessary to
peoplecan
have smooth communication without meeting directly.Correct your spelling
people can
people
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structure
Please ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Your introduction successfully outlines your opinion, but try to provide a clearer overview of the main points you will discuss.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that your ideas are logically ordered. Using linking words (however, furthermore, for instance) more effectively can enhance cohesion.
task achievement
Develop your arguments with more detailed examples and explanations. While you provided some arguments and examples, more specific details and evidence would strengthen your task response.
language
Work on eliminating grammatical errors and enhancing vocabulary range. Aim to vary your sentence structures more and avoid repetition of words to make your essay more engaging and fluent.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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