IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8.5

Eating a balanced diet is the most important factor for a healthy life. To what extent do you agree?

#diet #factor #life
There is a drastic change in eating habits compared to primitive times and it is crucial to be mindful of what we are intaking in order to lead a healthier life. I agree to a far extent with the above statement and
this
 essay will explain the reasons supporting my views. To commence with, there are many reasons why I think having a balanced diet plays a vital role in living a healthy life.
Firstly
, it has become common to skip breakfast due to busy-life, as everyone is rushing to work and do not have enough time to cook and eat, which leads to our
second
 point. The fast-food has taken over home-made food,
this
 is due to the hectic work schedule, and people find it easy and convenient. To illustrate, an individual can end up having the cholesterol level high if he is not watching out food consumed.
Furthermore
, obesity is another key factor that needs to be prioritised, as it is one of the commonly found issues in
this
 contemporary world.
In other words
, it is notable that children who are noticed overly weighted are due to high consumption of junk and sugary foods.
Lastly
, it is irrefutable that PlayStation and other electronic gadgets have taken away physical activities from the young minds,
subsequently
, it has a negative impact among the new generation.
For instance
, parents should prohibit their offspring from using video games and should be encouraged to play on the ground, which can avoid them from becoming a couch potato To conclude, I would like to reiterate that it is noteworthy to be considerate about one’s fitness will have a significant impact on their natural life, eventually, it can influence the society with
such
 a meaningful good habit.
Submitted by ash.fuji2018 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: