IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people however think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#governments #progress #people #country
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Authority
Correct article usage
The Authority
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 of a
country
Use synonyms
consider
Change the verb form
considers
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 that development in wealth is the actual vision.
However
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, there must be other aspects while it creates a vital role
for
Verify preposition usage
in
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 the improvement of the region. There are both advantages and disadvantages of
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this
Change the determiner
these
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 arguments. From my perspective, every
elements
Change to a singular noun
element
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 should be needed to fashion
a
Correct article usage
the
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 prosperity of the states.
To begin
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 with, economic is the key to derive any
country
Use synonyms
’s condition. Without
wealth
Add a comma
,wealth
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 it is not possible to run any systems smoothly.
Thus
Linking Words
, money helps us a lot to establish any situations which
is
Change the verb form
are
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 good for
the
Remove the article
apply
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people. To illustrate, if there remain economical condition, it will be better for the welfare of mankind.
For instance
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, when a
country
Use synonyms
 expiates decent cash they can be able to purchase new things where it brings a lot of development for the states.
On the contrary
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,
only
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the only
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fund
Add an article
the fund
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 is not the main improvement if there is no proper planning. Cash only buy
anythings
Correct your spelling
anything
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. But there must be social bondings where all people are united and develop their
country
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.
Hence
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,
religious
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a religious
the religious
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 fact
also
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create
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creates
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 a lot of
impact
Change to a plural noun
impacts
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 to improve the state. To demonstrate,
political
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the political
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 view must be strong so that it could be easy to initiate any issues to provide a good output for the area.
For example
Linking Words
, if money purchases anything there must
be remain
Change the verb form
remain
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an implementing issues
Correct the article-noun agreement
an implementing issue
implementing issues
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 which can combine
others
Replace the word
other
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 aspects and it will give
adequate
Add an article
the adequate
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 success of the
country
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, money is the key factor to develop the
country
Use synonyms
’s condition.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
others
Correct pronoun usage
other
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 factors must be availed to improve the state situation.
Submitted by Sadiq on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
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