Some people think that children should aim to be the best at what they are doing while others believe it is not necessary for them. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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People have different views on whether or not

children

should try to be the best in the activities they pursue. In my opinion, while trying to be the

first

can be important for certain activities, it is not always required in every situation and, in fact, can be detrimental in some cases. On the one hand, there are many reasons why striving for one’s best is an important quality in

children

First

, it can help encourage

children

to put in 100% effort. Hard work is a trait

that is

beneficial in life as it can support success academically as well as in the working world.

Secondly

, without the drive to be the best,

children

may not develop the motivation to do well in what they do and simply settle for mediocre outcomes. With a high goal in mind,

children

may be more likely to work hard and do well in what they do.

On the other hand

, some people believe it is not necessary for

children

to attempt to be the best.

This

could be motivated by the fact that not every activity requires a child to be the top performer.

For instance

, when playing with other

children

, being the best is irrelevant. Always trying to beat others can erode social relationships and dissuade collaborative

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

In addition

, because there is only one “

first

place,” only one child can achieve that position.

Consequently

, other

children

may suffer from low-self esteem and become discouraged if all of the emphasis is placed on being the best. In conclusion, only some situations require

children

to aim for the top in what they do

such

as academic settings since

this

attitude can foster a sense of persistence.

However

, not all situations require

this

approach. In collaborative situations, aiming to be the best can be detrimental, and it can

also

harm

children

’s

self-perceptions

Correct your spelling

self-perception

show examples

Submitted by thaihoang613 on Mon Mar 29 2021

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

308 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

striving for excellence
discipline
perseverance
competitive
reduces pressure
balanced development
fosters creativity
realistic goals
adverse mental health outcomes
achievable aspirations
balanced approach
participation
enjoyment
societal and cultural impact
understanding of success

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