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Band 7.5

Prison is the common way in most countries to try to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people with a better education. Do you agree or disagree?

#prison #countries #crime #people #education
Some
people
 believe that prison is not enough to handle the problem of
crime
 and that
education
 is a better solution to decrease the
crime
 numbers. I agree with that point of view, and I believe that
education
 is effective to counter crimes in a couple of ways.
Firstly
, a significant percentage of crimes are committed by illiterate
people
. They simply are unaware of what is legal and what is not.
For example
, individuals who build houses in their land without building permission, or trade without a license, are committing crimes, though they are not criminals.
Hence
, they need to be educated about the legal system, which will be hard for an illiterate person to understand.
Therefore
, providing good
education
 to the common
people
 enhances their behaviour, and prevents them from falling into any illegal actions. Another way is
education
 helps
people
 to find suitable jobs and stay away from the streets. To illustrate, the average daily income of a handyman is barely enough to provide food for his family;
thus
, he may engage in illegal activities to gain more money to fill the gap of his needs. Namely, a person with good
education
 has better chances to get a job with a lucrative salary, which will be enough to sustain himself and his family.
In other words
,
education
 gives the
people
 the safety of a decent job that saves them from the
crime
 path. To conclude, I agree with the statement saying that better
education
 is a more effective solution against
crime
.
That is
 because,
education
 gives individuals a better understanding of the laws, and it paves the way for better jobs that change their course of life.
Submitted by webunicorn on

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • tackles root causes
  • preventative approach
  • critical thinking
  • decision-making skills
  • recidivism rates
  • equipping
  • socio-economic benefits
  • underlying factors
  • poverty
  • ignorance
  • lack of opportunities
  • rehabilitation
  • ineffective
  • higher rates of re-offending
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