Sport is becoming a business. More and more companies are getting involved in sporting events. Do you think that is a positive or negative development?

#sport #business #companies #events #development

Several organizations are investing their vast budget in

sports

and

this

trend makes

sports

a business gradually. In my opinion,

this

is a positive development.

Initially

this

essay will discuss while

compnies

Correct your spelling

companies

involvement enhancing

players

confidence and

secondly

reducing

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

unemployment

from

Change preposition

show examples

our society.

To begin

with, the

first

and foremost positive impacts of investing by big companies is that investors are supporting

participents

Correct your spelling

participants

by providing sufficient funds.

This

trend

embolden

Change the verb form

emboldens

show examples

players

' confidence and boost their self-esteemed.

As a result

, various

players

who are unable to show their talent to the world due to lack of financial aid,

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

have

ability

Change the article

the ability

show examples

to beat their

compitetors

Correct your spelling

competitors

not only at

national

Correct article usage

the national

show examples

level but

also

internernational

Correct your spelling

international

sports

For instance

, a survey conducted recently by BBC News has revealed that 27%

sportsmen

Change preposition

of sportsmen

show examples

around the world became popular owing to

Correct your spelling

economic

ecomomic

Correct article usage

the ecomomic

show examples

help of private organizations.

Therefore

investement

Correct your spelling

investment

sports

bring the hidden skills out from folk.

Besides

, the

second

positive development of entering in sport by large companies is that people get employment in several fields. Companies have to establish their branches

Change preposition

apply

show examples

globally to supervise the conducted matches.

Consequently

, they appoint the

appropirate

Correct your spelling

appropriate

employees to operate their workplaces. Because of these

Correct your spelling

activities

activites

Add a comma

,activites

show examples

a nation's tourism

industery

Correct your spelling

industry

also

grown up as

sports

lovers travel to other countries to see the performance of their

players

For example

, to see

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Cristiano Ronaldo the famous football player people can visit any part of the world after spending

huge

Add an article

a huge

show examples

amount.

Hence

, these

compnies

Correct your spelling

companies

roubst

Correct your spelling

robust

the nation's economy. To conclude,

this

essay supports the notion that there are positive elements than negative of involving organizations in

sports

in the terms of encourge

sportpersons

Correct your spelling

sportspersons

to take part in

compititions

Correct your spelling

competitions

and escalate the

employement

Correct your spelling

employment

opportunity in different sectors.

Thus

I considered

this

to be a

postive

Correct your spelling

positive

development overall.

Submitted by AMARJIT SINGH on Mon Apr 05 2021

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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15Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

298 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Sport is becoming a business. More and more companies are getting involved in sporting events. Do you think that is a positive or negative development?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

In the age of social media, many people believe that online friendships are just as valuable as offline ones, while others argue that these cannot replace real-world relationships. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that prison sentences should not be used in dealing with criminals. Education and job training should be used instead. To what extent do you agree on disagree ?

These days many people prefer working at home instead of going to their working place. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

In cities and towns all over the world, the high volume of traffic is a problem. What are the causes of this and what actions can be taken to solve this problem?

Some people say that drug companies have a responsibility to spend money on researching medicines that will help people in poorer countries. Others say the main responsibility of drug companies is to make money. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion