IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

An increasing number of people are buying what they need online. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development? đ What are the advantages of international communication online? Are there any disadvantages to this?

#people #development #communication
In
this
 competitive era, people's are engaged in graveyards shifts to lead ameliorated and exotic lifestyle, under which they find it arduous extract time for window shopping that has beneficial development.
Moreover
, web conference meeting is very advantageous globally. I will discuss merits and demerits point in the posterior paragraphs. Admittedly, in the hectic
schedule
Add a comma
,schedule
show examples
 online shopping has merging
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 because it is
time consuming
Add a hyphen
time-consuming
show examples
 and people can visit all the brand shops just browse
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 google.
Furthermore
, there are numerous offers
folklore
Change preposition
for folklore
show examples
 get
website
Add an article
a website
show examples
 without wasting their time.
For example
, if individuals have visited a shop
then
 they will see
only
Add an article
the only
show examples
 specific variety and wait at billing site as well but if they prefer to shop via
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
then
 they will explore all the categories of clothes and bring
best
Change the article
the best
show examples
 piece of clothes. On
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 side, the big planet earth has become a small global village and
sovereign
Add an article
the sovereign
show examples
 the barriers seem to have disappeared there are abandoned opportunities open if people
are communicate
Change the verb form
are communicating
show examples
 with overseas. They should get the knowledge about their business abilities, culture and learn enormous things by them.
For instance
, in
Correct your spelling
pandemic
academic
panademic
Correct article usage
the panademic
show examples
 period
every thing
Correct your spelling
everything
show examples
 is on
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 if
masses
Correct article usage
the masses
show examples
 expand their business worldwide
then
 online communication is the best source of build a new relationship with
another nations
Replace the adjective
another nation
other nations
show examples
. To summarize, online developments have inclining day by day it is
indispensable
Add an article
an indispensable
the indispensable
show examples
 change which
is boost
Change the verb form
boosts
show examples
 up the economy of every country. The advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
Submitted by varinder on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: