Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goals. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. discuss both view and give your own opinion.

Most governments were focused on economic growth act as a crucial goal to achieve. Apart from that, some believe that other factors were important to the
country
.
This
essay will discuss both ideas and give some opinion to support the prompt. The prodigious profit is not doubted doubt that comes from the economic aspect, as well as governments who put more effort in that side, they think the thriving economy will bring benefits to the society,perhaps the quality of citizen's life is improved and others advantages would be together as well.
as a result
, the overall standard of the
country
such
as in a rise of GDP better competes in the world. In my opinion, It can argue that the economy changing world influences on the business and companies too, the employee has the better chances to choose the suitable job for them and fulfilled the demand in life.
In other words
, a plethora of opportunities for individuals would decline the rate of unemployment, everyone has fixed to the work. Despite the economic growth are
such
important. I think that other factors should be involved in the series to make the
country
hit the target, take an education system as an example. The education system has a huge competitor in every
country
and the world
also
. A good quality teaching
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma in a compound subject. Consider removing it.

show examples
or reputation of schools would influence the ranking to compare to other countries, recently, most students would choose an institution based on the ranking.
However
, the government should invest in the education system to improve the overall facilities and quality teaching training in the school, the international students will increase over time. Even the economic side bring a merit outcome at the moment. In conclusion, I personally prefer every feature have chances to hit the goal in countries,
although
it is just small changes.
However
, we cannot ignore every piece of them become an obstacle in our
country
.
Submitted by iehuang0912 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Improve your IELTS writing score within two weeks
Just type your IELTS essay and receive a clear, detailed report and band score in a moment.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

What to do next:
Look at other essays:
Turn your IELTS writing into band 7+
Writing9 scans your text for all types of mistakes, from typos to sentence structure problems and beyond.