IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

in recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping or malls to do their shopping. is it a positive or a negative development?

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In the competitive era,
people
Use synonyms
 are engaged in graveyards shifts
lead
Correct pronoun usage
that lead
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 to ameliorated and exotic lifestyles, under which they lead to arduous extract for small business because in present days
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to go
for
Change preposition
apply
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shopping in enormous
malls
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 rather than small shops. According to my ,
viewpoint
Add a comma
,viewpoint
show examples
 it has a negative development and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will discuss it in the posterior paragraphs. Admittedly, local shops have benefited
for
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apply
show examples
the
people
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 of the middle class, how can not afford the expenses of luxurious
malls
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.
Hence
Linking Words
, poor masses have no source of income because certain youngsters have no money for
further
Linking Words
 education so that time they prefer to
work
Use synonyms
 in small emporium to start earning money.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in plaza grant their job for educated, intelligent or good personality get the good salaries in the mall.
For example
Linking Words
, in past time, if someone was not performing the best in the studies
then
Linking Words
 parents had open a shop for them to start their
work
Use synonyms
 but nowadays that kind of option is working because remarkable presentation influence on customer mind.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the unemployment rate is merging day by day
that is
Linking Words
 big predicaments
of
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for
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 every nation. Whenever the small
stores
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 have opened everyone can afford the budget of small shops but in modern time masses can ignore their wishes.
For example
Linking Words
, in a recent survey done by the York ,university 75% of
people
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likes
Change the verb form
like
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 to go shopping in local
stores
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 rather than
malls
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.
Thus
Linking Words
, they asked
malls
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 are very expensive only a few folklore pay the bills of
malls
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 and wear the branded attire. In the outskirts most
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
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 can run their family small business they have only local
stores
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 if the
stores
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 have closed
then
Linking Words
 what they are eating and how they survive in the field. To sum up, local business has enormously benefited
for
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apply
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the middle-class family so, positive development outweighs negative development. It is an indispensable issue so the government should take certain steps for small
work
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 and must give them some funds to expand their
work
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.

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