Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#say #people #age #work

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It is irrefutable that

people

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's health has been improving, and a certain group of

people

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are living many years,

as a result

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of the

retirement

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age

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of the

people

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should be considerably increased. I gravitate with the given statement, and I will make some perspectives with supporting some examples in the following paragraphs.

To begin

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with, the

first

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and foremost benefit of increasing the

retirement

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age

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will make

people

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more independent as compared with the current situation. To explain

this

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, at the

age

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retirement

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people

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want a source of income for their survival but if

people

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are becoming more independent

then

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they will not rely on others.

For example

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, the

people

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can work for more times which helps them in the later stage of their life.

As a result

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people

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can make handsome amount of money at their old

age

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time which aids them if they want to live alone without any support of their children.

Moreover

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, If

people

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work more

then

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it creates a positive impact on the society because these

people

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have a great life experience,

hence

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they can take a mature decision at the workplace, which can be indirectly helpful to the economy of the society. For illustrate, in our country, most of the politician are working on their

retirement

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age

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, and they can run the government very well, like our prime minister Mr Narendra Modi which is one of the suitable examples for

this

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because he has been taking tremendous actions to combat the current pandemic situation. To conclude, I definitely say that if a working period of the

people

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can be increased considerably

then

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it will be influenced greatly to them, and it is one of the good initiatives for the society as well.

Submitted by jaiminpatel47 on Sat Apr 17 2021

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

290 words

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