Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is irrefutable that

people

Use synonyms

's health has been improving, and a certain group of

people

Use synonyms

are living many years,

as a result

Linking Words

of the

retirement

Use synonyms

age

Use synonyms

of the

people

Use synonyms

should be considerably increased. I gravitate with the given statement, and I will make some perspectives with supporting some examples in the following paragraphs.

To begin

Linking Words

with, the

first

Linking Words

and foremost benefit of increasing the

retirement

Use synonyms

age

Use synonyms

will make

people

Use synonyms

more independent as compared with the current situation. To explain

this

Linking Words

, at the

age

Use synonyms

retirement

Use synonyms

people

Use synonyms

want a source of income for their survival but if

people

Use synonyms

are becoming more independent

then

Linking Words

they will not rely on others.

For example

Linking Words

, the

people

Use synonyms

can work for more times which helps them in the later stage of their life.

As a result

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

can make handsome amount of money at their old

age

Use synonyms

time which aids them if they want to live alone without any support of their children.

Moreover

Linking Words

, If

people

Use synonyms

work more

then

Linking Words

it creates a positive impact on the society because these

people

Use synonyms

have a great life experience,

hence

Linking Words

they can take a mature decision at the workplace, which can be indirectly helpful to the economy of the society. For illustrate, in our country, most of the politician are working on their

retirement

Use synonyms

age

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, and they can run the government very well, like our prime minister Mr Narendra Modi which is one of the suitable examples for

this

Linking Words

because he has been taking tremendous actions to combat the current pandemic situation. To conclude, I definitely say that if a working period of the

people

Use synonyms

can be increased considerably

then

Linking Words

it will be influenced greatly to them, and it is one of the good initiatives for the society as well.

jaiminpatel47

Apr 17, 2021

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

290 words

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