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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#university #students #subjects #addition #time #attention #qualification
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In contemporary times, universities have provided more
comprehensively
Change the word
comprehensive
show examples
 subjects for students to choose
.
Change preposition
from.
show examples
Therefore
, some pupils contend that they should learn more holistically,
whereas
 others argue that they should pay more attention to their professional courses. In
this
 essay, I will illustrate both viewpoints and consider that learning multi-faceted may be an advisable decision
due to
currently
Correct article usage
the currently
show examples
 complex society. On the
one
 hand, consistently focusing on own professional skills can indeed have a higher likelihood of becoming prominent.
This
 ensures the quality of knowledge absorbing.
For instance
, Shuji Nakamura, a Japanese professor who created the Blue LED, ultimately won the Nobel Physics Prize in 2014. During his academic career, his perseverance on GaN (the metrical of Blue LED) helped him exceed other experts' research
as well as
 be more likely to stimulate various innovations, thereby creating breakthroughs.
Consequently
,
this
 instance presents the importance of concentrating on
one
 thing.
On the other hand
, learning multiple skills may be a trend later in the future,
this
 is because more companies have required that their employees must own
such
 as second languages, another master's degree, and other domain backgrounds.
For example
, certain technological companies
such
 as TSMC, NVIDIA, and AMD workers need to be familiar with semiconductors, artificial intelligence, and modern physics theories. To receive these professional backgrounds, it is unsurprising that undergraduates not only focus on their original field but
also
 need to learn other subjects.
Accordingly
,
this
 is why current students should learn different domain courses rather than that
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
one
.
To sum up
, consistently paying attention to
one
 subject can indeed enhance the efficiency of learning, being more likely to outweigh others.
However
, with the number of companies gradually increasing,
which
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 desire their employees to own various skills, learning comprehensive techniques may be a more accessible approach.
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coherence cohesion
Ensure a smooth transition between paragraphs to enhance readability.
task achievement
Clarify complex sentences to avoid ambiguity.
task achievement
Keep working on vocabulary and phrase variety to make the essay more engaging.
introduction
The introduction effectively outlines both viewpoints and presents a clear thesis.
task achievement
Relevant and specific examples are provided to support the main points.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the arguments presented and confirms the writer's position.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
What to do next:
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