IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#country #health #service #treatments
In
this
 modern era,
health
 care systems are rapidly improving and the cost of some
services
 are not affordable. It is completely agreed that some
treatments
 are expensive, but they should reduce the costing, so that even lower class
people
 can afford
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. The two sides of the essay will be thoroughly analyzed and discussed in the below paragraphs before drawing a reasoned conclusion. Nowadays,
health
 care sector of every
nation
 is at peak, but
still
Add a comma
,still
show examples
 there are some states which are not providing free
services
, they should understand that every life matter and should come out with annual budget plans in which especially the backward class or
low income
Add a hyphen
low-income
show examples
 class
people
 of the
nation
 should be given free
treatments
.
For instance
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should create some yearly subsidy plans by identifying those
people
 who are living in rural areas and whose annual income is exceptionally low and provide
no charge
Add a hyphen
no-charge
show examples
services
 to them.
Additionally
, they can open Government operational hospitals in underdeveloped areas which provides free
services
 so that those society
people
 can get benefited.
Although
, there are some
treatments
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 are not affordable by some nations to provide
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
for free of cost to
people
. In
this
 scenario, governments should either create some insurance plan which covers
this
Change the determiner
this treatment
these treatments
show examples
treatments
 or they should help individuals in getting loans from the bank so that they can repay it later on instalments. To summarize, every
nation
 should help
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 citizens in getting benefits from the
health
 care sector.
Therefore
, in my opinion, every
nation
 should provide
health
services
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
free of cost or by reducing the price of expensive
treatments
.
Submitted by 22295.uk on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: