IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#country #health #service #treatments
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In
this
Linking Words
 modern era,
health
Use synonyms
 care systems are rapidly improving and the cost of some
services
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 are not affordable. It is completely agreed that some
treatments
Use synonyms
 are expensive, but they should reduce the costing, so that even lower class
people
Use synonyms
 can afford
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. The two sides of the essay will be thoroughly analyzed and discussed in the below paragraphs before drawing a reasoned conclusion. Nowadays,
health
Use synonyms
 care sector of every
nation
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 is at peak, but
still
Add a comma
,still
show examples
 there are some states which are not providing free
services
Use synonyms
, they should understand that every life matter and should come out with annual budget plans in which especially the backward class or
low income
Add a hyphen
low-income
show examples
 class
people
Use synonyms
 of the
nation
Use synonyms
 should be given free
treatments
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.
For instance
Linking Words
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should create some yearly subsidy plans by identifying those
people
Use synonyms
 who are living in rural areas and whose annual income is exceptionally low and provide
no charge
Add a hyphen
no-charge
show examples
services
Use synonyms
 to them.
Additionally
Linking Words
, they can open Government operational hospitals in underdeveloped areas which provides free
services
Use synonyms
 so that those society
people
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 can get benefited.
Although
Linking Words
, there are some
treatments
Use synonyms
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 are not affordable by some nations to provide
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
for free of cost to
people
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
 scenario, governments should either create some insurance plan which covers
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
this treatment
these treatments
show examples
treatments
Use synonyms
 or they should help individuals in getting loans from the bank so that they can repay it later on instalments. To summarize, every
nation
Use synonyms
 should help
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 citizens in getting benefits from the
health
Use synonyms
 care sector.
Therefore
Linking Words
, in my opinion, every
nation
Use synonyms
 should provide
health
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
free of cost or by reducing the price of expensive
treatments
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by 22295.uk on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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