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Band 7

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food,clothes and entartainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes.Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #children #choices #matters #food #clothes #entartainment #society #individuals #decisions
While some argue that
people
 who give a free alternative to
children
 at least on basic needs cause bringing up self - esteem
people
 for society,others claim that it is vital to decide on the issues which attributed to their life. In my opinion,
children
 are members who can decide on the right option. On the one hand, it is understandable why
people
 consider that
children
 should be allowed to make option on what they eat or wear,even on their hanging spot. There are many factors behind
this
.
Firstly
, they want their
children
 to be independent.
For example
,if we compare youngsters who grown up independently we will experience how they are mature,rather than who
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 under supervision.
Besides
 ,
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
 they are
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
 who think only about their goals.
Consequently
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society meets
such
 kind of situations in which they are humiliated by these type of members. Taking into account all these above-mentioned parents have to think out on what level freedom cannot harm their
children
 `s personality.
On the other hand
, I would argue with those who support the idea that it is essential to have a chance on their own choices. Due to the fact that they will taste or carry these clothes ,others cannot interfere with their own desires.
For instance
, if we try them to live under only our conditions we will witness unconfident
people
 in future. It is appreciatable when we respect their ideas and elaborate them. They will chat with their friends and make relationships. Owing to these facts we cannot oblige them to obey our lifestyle.
As a result
 opposite sides impacts mean to break others` rights. Parents might direct them to the right way through friendly communication.
Finally
, they can be grown up as generous
people
 for our community if there is a novel approach. To sum up,
although
children
 who are allowed to make their own alternative affect their manners as being egoist I support locals need
people
 who are tough in their decisions.
Submitted by mahiyakarim85 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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