IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Consumers are faced with increasing numbers of advertisements from competing companies. To what extent do you think consumers are influenced by advertisements? What measures can be taken to protect them?

#consumers #numbers #advertisements #companies #measures
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In contemporary times, many companies compete with each other by broadcasting numerous
advertisements
, leading some people to believe that consumers are significantly influenced by these adverts. From my point of view, I disagree with
this
 notion. My supporting reasons,
as well as
 ways to protect citizens from
advertisements
, will be outlined in the following paragraphs before reaching a conclusion. At the outset, there are several reasons to support my opinion, and one significant reason is that people generally purchase what suits them best. To elaborate
further
, consumers make decisions based on their needs and experiences, rather than solely on
advertisements
.
Moreover
, they consider the prices of goods more than the promotional content. An apt illustration of
this
 is that I frequently see
advertisements
 for various shampoos on television, but when I purchase one, I choose based on my experience with its suitability for my hair, its ingredients, and its properties, and I always consider the most affordable option. On the flip side, there are several ways to tackle the issue of excessive
advertisements
, and one crucial method is through governmental action. To explain in greater detail, authorities can raise awareness among citizens about the importance of not overspending on similar
products
 that serve the same purpose.
Furthermore
, governments can implement regulations requiring companies to disclose the properties and ingredients of their
products
, aiding consumers in making informed decisions. To specifically demonstrate, in my country, the government has launched a campaign highlighting the disadvantages of purchasing redundant items, emphasizing the waste of money.
Additionally
, laws have been enacted to mandate manufacturers to declare the ingredients and effects of their
products
, enabling the public to decide whether they need to buy them or not. All in all, it is undeniable that many companies broadcast
advertisements
 to compete with other organizations selling similar
products
.
However
, from my perspective, I disagree that the population is significantly influenced by these adverts, as they tend to choose what is best for them. To mitigate and alleviate
this
 issue, the government should pitch in by raising consumer awareness and implementing measures that help buyers make more informed decisions.
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task achievement
To enhance task achievement, make sure to provide a full and clear response to every part of the prompt. Explore deeper into how different demographics might be differently influenced by advertisements.
task achievement
To improve clarity and comprehensiveness of ideas, ensure that each point is thoroughly elaborated with sufficient examples and evidence. Going into more detail about consumer behavior and psychological aspects could strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
While your essay has a solid logical structure, each paragraph should ideally begin with a clear topic sentence outlining the main idea clearly. This subtle improvement can enhance flow and readability.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the transition between paragraphs is smooth and logical. Adding linking words or phrases to connect ideas seamlessly would improve cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a strong framework for your arguments.
task achievement
You’ve supported your main points with specific examples, which makes your arguments more persuasive.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • advertising campaign
  • celebrity endorsement
  • psychological manipulation
  • emotional appeal
  • targeted advertisement
  • digital marketing
  • social proof
  • peer review
  • consumer trust
  • brand loyalty
  • misleading advertisement
  • government regulation
  • consumer protection
  • media literacy
  • ad-blocker
  • privacy settings
  • informed choice
  • critical thinking
  • marketing tactics
  • consumer awareness
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