IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Nowadays young people mostly learn by reading books or watching movies and TV shows, rather than personal experience. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your knowledge and experience.

#people #books #movies #tv
It is argued that
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 generation
tend
Change the verb form
tends
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 to get
information
 from media facilities rather than rely on their own experiences. I totally agree with
this
 argument as it is
unevitable
Correct your spelling
inevitable
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these days.
First
 of all, it is understandable why youngsters apply mostly TV shows, radio, set of books in order to obtain new things. Due to the fact that young
people
 do all of
tasks
Add an article
the tasks
show examples
 through
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
, they addict to modern technology.
As a
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
 it is more convenient for them to sit in front of
screen
Add an article
the screen
a screen
show examples
 and learn whatever they want.
For instance
, peers organize meetings attributed to their assignments and can easily exchange
information
.
Consequently
, they can be aware of news in
this
 field.
Besides
this
, media ways are the best option to be more informative. As a matter of
fact
Add a comma
,fact
show examples
 they own experienced and approved
information
 young
people
 can learn far more than their own ones.
Moreover
, the books which teach us various aspects of life is worth guide through our life period. Providing that we use them in
appropriate
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an appropriate
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 way we can boost up our living conditions. These materials provide
us
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our
show examples
 whole
information
Correct article usage
the information
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 in
detailed
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a detailed
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 way. We can travel back to history or get familiar with the places which we are not aware of them.
In addition
 to
this
, reading books gives us chance to visit well-known
people
 s life and their thoughts.
For instance
, when we write
essay
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an essay
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 we try to look over samples before writing them. If we only rely on our own opinions it will never take
us
Change the pronoun
our
show examples
 improvements. To conclude, taking into account that young
people
 want to boost up their knowledge and learn from experienced predators it the best option to use media means
Submitted by mahiyakarim85 on

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