IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Whoever controls the media also controls opinions and attitudes of the people and there is little can be done to rectify this.

#controls #media #attitudes #people
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It is argued that someone controls the
media
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, they
also
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 can
control
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 the way of
people
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’ thinking and it’s hard for others to do something about
this
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 situation. I totally agree with
this
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 opinion and think the
media
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 exactly can
control
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opinions
Correct article usage
the opinions
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 and attitudes of the
people
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.
First
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 of all, I believe that someone who can
control
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 the
media
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,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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can
control
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people
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’s thinking.
Correct your spelling
Nowadays
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Nowaday
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Nowadays
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, we live with a lot of
media
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,
for example
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, smartphones, television, social
media
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, billboards and so on, everything can get your interest, opinion, search engine and explain information to mind
control
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.
For example
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, when we look for something in google, after that we will see that thing in your facebook’s newsfeed or advertisement on
youtube
Add an article
a youtube
the youtube
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 video and still available until you buy that one.
Secondly
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, many
media
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’s owner
don’t
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doesn’t
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 care what
people
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 think.
In other words
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, They can still do the same thing and the same attitude that they are and still get a lot of profit.
For instance
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, many Thai
people
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 know about many
story
Change to a plural noun
stories
show examples
 of Thailand TV series is
alway
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always
 about rape, sexual
harrusment
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harassment
, bully and so on,
that is
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 not
usful
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useful
 for
people
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 and make a wrong attitude that
make
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makes
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 opinions and attitudes of the
people
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 going weird.
Moreover
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, many
people
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 cannot do anything with
this
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 problem because normal
people
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 do not have the power, connection or money to do something better. To conclude,
People
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 have just something they can do,
for example
Linking Words
, comment, criticize or call out but I do not think that enough.
Moreover
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, the
media
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’s controllers do not have a reason to listen to
people
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 because of the money that they get, it comes from their customers, advertisement
media
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not
Add the comma(s)
,not
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 the normal
people
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.
Submitted by perth22july on

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