IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Whoever controls the media also controls opinions and attitudes of the people and there is little can be done to rectify this.

#controls #media #attitudes #people
It is argued that someone controls the
media
, they
also
 can
control
 the way of
people
’ thinking and it’s hard for others to do something about
this
 situation. I totally agree with
this
 opinion and think the
media
 exactly can
control
opinions
Correct article usage
the opinions
show examples
 and attitudes of the
people
.
First
 of all, I believe that someone who can
control
 the
media
,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can
control
people
’s thinking.
Correct your spelling
Nowadays
show examples
Nowaday
Correct your spelling
Nowadays
show examples
, we live with a lot of
media
,
for example
, smartphones, television, social
media
, billboards and so on, everything can get your interest, opinion, search engine and explain information to mind
control
.
For example
, when we look for something in google, after that we will see that thing in your facebook’s newsfeed or advertisement on
youtube
Add an article
a youtube
the youtube
show examples
 video and still available until you buy that one.
Secondly
, many
media
’s owner
don’t
Change the verb form
doesn’t
show examples
 care what
people
 think.
In other words
, They can still do the same thing and the same attitude that they are and still get a lot of profit.
For instance
, many Thai
people
 know about many
story
Change to a plural noun
stories
show examples
 of Thailand TV series is
alway
Correct your spelling
always
 about rape, sexual
harrusment
Correct your spelling
harassment
, bully and so on,
that is
 not
usful
Correct your spelling
useful
 for
people
 and make a wrong attitude that
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 opinions and attitudes of the
people
 going weird.
Moreover
, many
people
 cannot do anything with
this
 problem because normal
people
 do not have the power, connection or money to do something better. To conclude,
People
 have just something they can do,
for example
, comment, criticize or call out but I do not think that enough.
Moreover
, the
media
’s controllers do not have a reason to listen to
people
 because of the money that they get, it comes from their customers, advertisement
media
not
Add the comma(s)
,not
show examples
 the normal
people
.
Submitted by perth22july on

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