IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The main purpose of public libraries is to provide books ,they should not waste their limited resources and space on providing expensive hi tech media such as computer software, videos, DVDs. To what extent do agree or disagree with this statement.

#purpose #libraries #books #waste #resources #space #hi #tech #media #computer #software #videos #dvds
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The
Correct article usage
Books
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books
Use synonyms
 are playing a paramount role in the life of individuals as
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 may enrich
the
Correct article usage
apply
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knowledge. It is predominantly considered by a cluster of
like minded
Add a hyphen
like-minded
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 people that
libraries
Use synonyms
 should only supply
books
Use synonyms
 rather than
hi tech
Add a hyphen
hi-tech
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media
Use synonyms
 whereas,I believe that ,in today's advanced
technology
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
, it is highly imperative to them to upgrade with
fast moving
Add a hyphen
fast-moving
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time
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 and provide contemporary means of source for sharing information
such
Linking Words
 as soft
media
Use synonyms
 ,audio and video.
This
Linking Words
 essay supports the above statement which will be explained in the subsequent paragraph. There are having
a
Correct article usage
apply
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myriad
grounds
Change preposition
of grounds
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 which will
further
Linking Words
 explain
this
Linking Words
 argument but the most outstanding reason is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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contemporary
media
Use synonyms
 is the most expensive and requires
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
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 initial investment which some
libraries
Use synonyms
 may not afford
such
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 a big investment due to some circumstances.
Therefore
Linking Words
, as a number of individuals argue,they tend to only focus on maintaining existing assets rather than moving towards fancy
technology
Use synonyms
. Apart from
this
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, these masses
also
Linking Words
 think that
Add a hyphen
hi-tech
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hi
Correct your spelling
high
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 tech
media
Use synonyms
 might deviate
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society from the actual purpose of
libraries
Use synonyms
nevertheless
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 owing to vast betterment, numerous types of activities are accessible in soft
media
Use synonyms
 which may discourage the people from learning that may not be good for their future career. If
libraries
Use synonyms
 cater to various entertainment
media
Use synonyms
 like video and audios which may make
students
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 forget their purpose, the primary purpose of
libraries
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 would be killed and
students
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 would have to invest a large amount of
time
Use synonyms
 surfing on the internet rather than for the sake of learning.
Moreover
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,
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further
Add an article
the further
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 reason is that periodically few citizens do not know the rules of
libraries
Use synonyms
 which lead noise and disturbances for
another educators
Replace the adjective
another educator
other educators
show examples
 as they increase the volume of their audio and video which may not fabulous for
older
Add an article
the older
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 generation but if they read
books
Use synonyms
 on sitting one place they may
also
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 know
role
Add an article
the role
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 of discipline and
time
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 impotence despite
of
Remove the preposition
apply
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having
legion
Add an article
the legion
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 advantage of
technology
Use synonyms
 individuals can read
books
Use synonyms
 on
internet
Add an article
the internet
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 on any
time
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 when they want but for
libraries
Use synonyms
 they have to move another place .one server was conducted on
students
Use synonyms
 study that ,learns can do their study with
best
Change the article
the best
show examples
 way when they read out from
books
Use synonyms
 because they have not any social
media
Use synonyms
 in their surrounding which boast their opportunities of career life. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
collection
Add an article
the collection
a collection
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 of
books
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 contribute
enormous
Change preposition
to enormous
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 factors, if
students
Use synonyms
 use
technology
Use synonyms
 while studying they can do more focus on their education.
Submitted by Shaunak Desai on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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