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Band 5

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as facebook) have had a negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree?

#people #sites #facebook #impact #individuals #society
The era of
digital
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the digital
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world
 has produced many social media platforms, which virtually has brought
people
 much closer than before.
However
, it is perceived by many that
such
 tools have an adverse effect on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 as well as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
This
 essay is going to discuss the negative impact caused by the internet community. Social networking sites
such
 as Facebook, Instagram are used by individuals to show
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their lavish lifestyle, which in most cases is far from the truth.
For instance
, some may post about travelling they do along with the cars they own. The pictures may have been edited to show the fake
world
 they want
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
 to see. Far from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
reality, these images
creates
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create
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 a sense of jealousy or hatred among individuals, which may lead to some irrational actions.
This
 psychological pressure can affect
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health in a not so positive manner.
Therefore
,
social
Add an article
the social
a social
show examples
 application can be the root cause of negative development. It is said to believe that
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
 of digital media has brought us closer. But what we have failed to understand is that we may have
drift
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drifted
show examples
 apart physically. Due to these
platforms
Add a comma
,platforms
show examples
 social interactions amongst each other has decreased immensely as
people
 prefer to meet online rather than putting the effort to actually visit each other.
For example
, video chat enables us to see each other from the comfort of our homes. The effect of which is loss of confidence and social anxiety, which is indeed not good for the mental well being of the
people
. In conclusion, social media may have
it
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its
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 advantages but the disadvantages outweigh them greatly. The
world wide
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worldwide
show examples
 web has put us at a greater risk involving the physical and mental growth of the community as a whole.
Submitted by mahrukh_javed on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • erosion
  • face-to-face
  • interactions
  • privacy concerns
  • data breaches
  • misinformation
  • polarize
  • cyberbullying
  • online harassment
  • procrastination
  • productivity
  • social isolation
  • dissemination
  • breeding ground
  • vast amounts
  • personal information
  • mental health
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