traditional ideas from older people about the way to live and behave are not helpful to young people and their futures. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Long-standing claims from senior
people
about how to live and behave are not beneficial anymore for juveniles,
therefore
, young adults generally think better of giving their ears to older
people
’s counsels. I firmly believe that there is a defensible basis for
this
argument
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
since the world, which oldsters had known, was altered so much and they are now struggling to catch new trends and concepts.
First
and foremost, it’s obvious that young adults usually have more bravery in their spirits than adults,
consequently
, they tend to seek their passions enthusiastically even in tough positions. Much as
this
fact occasionally leads them to be careless individuals, juveniles still evaluate challenging situations with an optimistic as well as an
open minded
Add a hyphen
open-minded
show examples
approach in order to learn from their errors and commence a task again. Most of the older
people
do not follow the latest trends of business models or lifestyles,
besides
their actions and future plans are profoundly pertaining to their previous experiences and past beliefs,
thus
they are not acting so willingly as youngsters to venture into a new project and adapt their lives to new lifestyle models. In most cases, it goes without saying that teens have gained more knowledge than many elderly
people
these days, especially in the fields of technology and finance on the grounds that using the internet more effectively.
For instance
, my cousin had purchased bitcoin 7 years ago and
that
Change preposition
at that
show examples
time my grandfather didn’t approve of his action, calling it “a waste of money”. To sum up, I personally opine that many traditional approaches of oldsters about life and future have become invalid anymore so that the advice they give younger
people
are a far way from being profitable.
Submitted by haticecoza on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: