Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair.

#sports #professionals #money #people #professions

It is often argued that successful

sports

players can earn a huge amount of money, while others believe that it is unfair for

people

who are important professions in other careers.

This

essay will be discussed both views and shared my opinion.

To begin

, there are several reasons why many famous

sports

professionals can receive a lot of money. One important reason is that

people

who become

sports

players have to work hard in their practice in order to get great results. They have to up their skills all the time because it can affect a

country

reputation

For example

, in every competition, many

people

focus on them, so they have a lot of pressure. If they can get the best score in their competitions, they can build a

reputation

for their

country

Although

athletes can make fame, other professions

also

have important roles in the

country

However

, some claim that it is unfair to those who are not

sports

stars because there are many careers contributing more to society.

For instance

, high professionals like doctors can make a good contribution to society by treating sicked and injured

people

. scientists

also

can make fame by publishing new discoveries and inventions.

Furthermore

, if any countries have crime, the person solving problems is the police. It is clear that these jobs are necessary but not build a

reputation

. All in all, each career has different roles. In my opinion, the successful

sports

professionals deserve a lot of money because building the

reputation

makes many

people

know that

country

better.

Submitted by p.n.fongnam on Fri Jun 11 2021

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

257 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial remuneration
exceptional
merit
talent
demand
entertainment value
career span
physical demands
justified
unfair
criticism
income inequality
societal priorities
sportsmanship

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