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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Sending spacecraft and astronauts into space is very expensive. It would be better for governments to use the money spent on space exploration to improve the quality of life on Earth. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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The incredible cost of sending spacecraft and astronauts to explore
space
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 is a serious issue. Some
people
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 believe that the
money
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 should be allocated to promote the standard of living on Earth by governments. I partially agree with
this
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, for the
money
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 should be invested to meet more immediate needs of
people
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 in spite of its potential to discover another place for habitat. On the one hand, there are more advantages that
people
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 can gain as their lives become more secure when governments use the
money
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 to deal with their urgent problems.
In other words
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, they are expected to have a more direct impact on protecting the lives of the public.
For example
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, severe shortages of food have become a threatening issue caused by growing natural disasters and a rising population.
Consequently
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, those who are not able to access nutritious food often end up suffering from diseases and starvation resulting from the rising conflicts.
Therefore
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, the authorities should make more financial allocations to promote the life of
people
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 on Earth by strengthening their health check systems and providing groceries rather than
space
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 projects which often waste a lot of
money
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 and resources that could have saved thousands of lives.
On the other hand
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, governments' investments in astronomical missions would be necessary for some surprising revelation of the mystery of the unknown universe. Indeed, there is a gradual understanding of Mars thanks to the continuous trials to send astronauts and spaceships.
This
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 ongoing research on any traces of lifeforms and water on the different planets can ensure its habitability in future.
Furthermore
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, the possibility of human settlement on Mars allows them to avoid growing threats of environmental problems
such
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 as rising temperatures and air and water pollution on Earth.
As a result
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, it may be worth it for the authorities to spend
money
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 on
space
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 projects to encourage the prosperity and peace of future generations. In conclusion, I somewhat agree with the
money
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 spent on more pressing issues, especially the food shortage caused by the population rise and natural threats than
space
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 projects.
Although
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 advanced
space
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 exploration is likely to let humans discover a new habitable place for the future,
money
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 should be invested to secure their well-being.

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Cohesion
Ensure all paragraphs smoothly transition from one idea to the next for improved flow and coherence.
Supporting Examples
Provide more varied and detailed examples to strengthen the support for your arguments.
Task Response
Balance your essay by addressing both views with equal consideration and development.
Task Response
You have presented a clear opinion and addressed the question directly, which is crucial for task achievement.
Structure
Your essay structure is well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Language Use
Effective use of an advanced vocabulary and complex sentence structures.
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