Some people think that the Olympics is no longer necessary in the 21st century. ‎To what extent do you agree or disagree?‎

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Undoubtedly, the argument as to whether or not the

Olympics

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Game is required in these recent years – is metamorphosised into a moot point. I strongly do not accord with the statement; notwithstanding,

this

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disquisition delves into both standpoints and

subsequently

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will explore my grounds why I do not see an eye to eye, in turn. Apparently, the exponents that postulate that the

Olympics

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are no more essential – have their justification. The rationale behind their reasoning could be the waste of time and money, people travel to a host country by paying an exorbitant amount of disbursement to book a seat, is totally in a vain rather than contributing to one's own country's budget system for the betterment.

Secondly

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, who knows what kinds of unfortunate events have been planned by the terrorist group. For illustration, according to one survey by AIS (Australian Intelligent Services), states that

this

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kind of events always attracts the vicious minds of a terrorist to plan and implement an attack.

Thus

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, vindication for the

Olympics

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not to be demanded.

Conversely

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, could there any pitfalls of not arranging

this

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game every 4 years? Certainly, it follows that the spirit of athletics would be on the verge of extinction if not arranged among several nations of the globe;

consequently

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, the understanding of a wide range of cultures and histories of the planet will be endangered one day.

Moreover

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, the upcoming pastime generations would never have that enthusiasm

that is

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supposed to be in their personality to be a competitive player to defeat the rival country's sportsmen.

Additionally

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, not only the popularity of sports will be in danger, but

also

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the nation's overall pride will be dwindled down. To epitomize, if there is no concept of competitions among all countries, the youngsters will only focus on academic sectors despite having the great abilities of sports characteristics.

Hence

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, the explanation of having

Olympics

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regularly. To conclude, having advanced both perspectives, I recapitulate that, I am not in the perfect alignment with the mentioned status, that arranging

Olympics

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in the present century is no more fundamental; whereas, the governments should bring

such

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an event to showcase sports nature and artistries of its people.

Submitted by sam on Sat Jun 12 2021

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

363 words

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Some people think that the Olympics is no longer necessary in the 21st century. ‎To what extent do you agree or disagree?‎

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Too much emphasis is given to education on the young. More government money should be spent on the free time activity of young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. why is this the case? do you think this is the positie pr a negative development?

Many young children have unsupervised access to the internet and are using the internet to socialize with others. What problems do children face when going online without parental supervision? How can these problems be solved?

n a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion