IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

below show the school site in 2004 and the plan for changes to the school site in ‎‎2024.‎

#show #school #site #plan #changes
The two maps show the town of Langley in the years 1910 and 1950 and the urban developments that took place. Overall, there were a number of notable changes to the buildings and amenities of
this
area
. In 1910, the
area
 had a combination of residential and industrial features, but by 1950 the industrial features had largely disappeared. Whereas in 1910 a railway line ran through the neighbourhood, by 1950
this
 had been removed.
Furthermore
, the townhouses which used to dominate the 1910 map had been replaced by blocks of flats by 1950, and the areas of wasteland had gone. Another major change to the
area
 in 1950 was the development of more commercial and recreational features. The demolition of
a
Change the article
the
show examples
second
 row of houses on Sherman Street and the removal of the railway line made room for a spacious park and children's play
area
. On the commercial side, to the right of the
park
Add a comma
,park
show examples
 some new stores were built on the aptly named New Lane, replacing the small store of 1910, and the cafe and laundry were relocated. Overall, the
area
 was renovated extensively, seeing fundamental changes to its residential accommodation, and its commercial and recreational facilities were developed.
Submitted by arash.dejkameh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: