IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people say that punishment is the best way to teach children to behave well, while others disagree and point out that rewarding and praising them is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #punishment #children #point
As the education method is altering in the modern world, claims start to differ when it comes to the fact that whether punishment or praise is better than the other. Some hold that juniors need to be warned and in some cases even punished for their errors, while other people deem that every problem will be
unraveled
Change the spelling
unravelled
show examples
 with rewarding and praising. In
this
 essay, I will indicate the corrections of the view of praise in child education.
First
 and foremost, the possible effects of being punished on juveniles'
innerselves
Correct your spelling
inner selves
inner-selves
 should be scrutinized. Most mothers and fathers impulsively tend to scream or shout to their children as soon as they recognize their misbehaviours.
However
, they generally avoid talking about the reasons behind
this
 anger to their offspring,
hence
, youngsters cannot grasp what they did incorrectly as well as they might be inclined to repeat the action. According to a recent report, children insulted so often, especially in front of other people, by their parents are struggling to launch a new occasion brave heartedly and usually have a
timide
Correct your spelling
timid
 personality in their future lives.
On the contrary
, provided that juveniles are raised by enduring approaches and positive motivations
such
 as getting rewarded for their ethical actions, they most likely become more confident individuals and
this
 leads them not to be either intimidated for making mistakes or persistent
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 perpetuating their wrong behaviours.
For instance
, one of my friends
whose
Correct your spelling
who's
show examples
 parents are both psychologists has been raised by
this
 given way; he always narrates his childhood years as a blissful term of his life and depicts positive effects of
this
 raising model filled with praises on his personality. In conclusion, much as long-standing claims about raising methods have been discussed for decades, I opine it's crystal clear that encouraging juveniles should become a substitute for insulting.
Submitted by haticecoza on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: