IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Today's children are living under more pressure from the society than children in the past to what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion

#children #pressure #society
Nowadays, it is considered that children experience a greater amount of pressure from society compared to previous generations.
This
 essay will shed light on the different everyday life examples related to
this
 dilemma.
Firstly
, people have argued that kids used to have more freedom while growing up.
For instance
, primary school children had the opportunity or
in other words
, the freedom to walk to school in the mornings without any adult supervision and knowing that they would safely make their way to school. Sadly, the most recent pieces of advice for parents is not to allow their young ones to walk alone to places, no matter how close they might be, as there are many safety concerns being one of them that unknown people could approach them with bad intentions.
In addition
, it is said that kids in recent times, experience more frequently bullying incidents compare to the past. Recent statistics have shown that our generation has been bullied twice the amount that people used to be in the past. A key point of
this
 fact might be the huge role that technology plays, as older generations would disconnect from most of the world when arriving at home and in the present time kids have access to social media which keeps them in contact with their aggressors even if unwanted. To sum up, I strongly agree that our young generations grow up having a greater amount of distress surrounding their everyday
Correct your spelling
lives
life
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
. I believe that as parents our role is to guide them through
this
 tough journey and to alleviate as much as possible the weight that they have to carry. Being aware of what society can pressure them with or how it can make them feel, plays an important role in having a happy child and can be the difference on having a depressed one.
Submitted by diamadia1 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: