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Writing Samples
Band 6

In many countries the level of crime is increasing and crimes are becoming more violent. Why do you think this is and what can be done about it?

#countries #level #crime #crimes
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One of the most serious issues faced by many governments around the world is the challenges of the increase in crime rate, and it becomes more aggressive nowadays. The main reason for
this
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 is that there are many uneducated and jobless
people
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 in overpopulated areas, and a viable solution is to introduce a free education system to educate
people
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’s behaviour. One of the reasons is that the educational expenses and cost of living are high these days caused many uneducated individuals in society who can easily commit a crime.
Moreover
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,
although
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 those communities should go to school to have a proper education, they are struggling to make ends meet. That leads to unemployment or unable to find a well-paid job and living in poverty.
In addition
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, as the
people
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 are living with stress, poverty and unsatisfactory, they become more violent and distress and it means that they have higher chances of committing crimes violently. A solution
that is
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 the world leaders, and different countries’ government should work together to introduce free educational systems, which is easily accessible in every area of the world to educate those population unable to afford the education expenses.
Besides
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, the community to try to help them by donating or offering a job to meet the standard of living. In that situation, we can expect more educated
people
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 with discipline in the community who expect to resolve the issue of higher crime rates and violence. To conclude, the level of more violent crimes are growing in many countries but we can resolve it by introducing a free educational system to educate
people
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 on the behaviour to stop committing crimes.
Submitted by Shwe Yamin on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crime rate
  • violent crimes
  • socioeconomic factors
  • law enforcement
  • technology
  • education
  • employment
  • drug abuse
  • alcohol abuse
  • poverty
  • inequality
  • effectiveness
  • investing
  • job creation
  • social support
  • community engagement
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