It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
Some individuals believe that taking
risks
is a crucial issue not only in their career Use synonyms
lives
but Use synonyms
also
in their personal Linking Words
lives
. In my opinion, the drawbacks of Use synonyms
this
activity are twofold and outweigh the benefits of it.
First of all, members of the public who take Linking Words
risks
in their job Use synonyms
lives
may lose all of their achievements in the blink of an eye. Actually, Use synonyms
although
they have a lot of knowledge in their fields, every person can make mistakes, and some of them are significantly disruptive. Linking Words
In addition
, Linking Words
people
who have Use synonyms
this
spirit are easily deceived, so businesses manipulate them. Linking Words
For instance
, the majority of members of society lose all of their budget, which they collect in their Linking Words
lives
, by investing in pyramidal companies for a higher profit.
Use synonyms
Further
and even more importantly, Linking Words
people
who have a tendency to take Use synonyms
risks
even if they succeed and obtain a huge amount of money, Use synonyms
they
do not have Correct pronoun usage
apply
mind's
health. Indeed, these Correct article usage
a mind's
people
always have stress that leads to detrimental effects on their health. Use synonyms
Moreover
, whenever these ambitious Linking Words
people
, Use synonyms
due to
their preferences, opt Linking Words
something
in their personal Change preposition
for something
lives
, they do not care about their extended or immediate family's attitudes. They, Use synonyms
hence
, have a high possibility Linking Words
to destroy
their relationships, and they get Change preposition
of destroying
alone
after a period of time. Correct your spelling
along
Thus
, Linking Words
this
issue is prone to several ailments, Linking Words
such
as depression.
In conclusion, taking Linking Words
risks
can cause several diseases and waste money. Use synonyms
Therefore
, irrespective of some short-term positive aspects of it, Linking Words
people
must avoid it.Use synonyms
Submitted by speher2000behroozifar on
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Task Response
You have presented a balanced viewpoint on the topic and have included an introduction and a strong conclusion. To enhance your essay, ensure your main ideas are fully developed with additional examples or explanations.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay is logically organized with an effective introduction and conclusion. However, some transitional phrases or sentences could be more varied to improve the natural flow of the argument.
Task Response
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frames the response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Main ideas are logically structured, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct disadvantage of risk-taking.