It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

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Some individuals believe that taking
risks
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is a crucial issue not only in their career
lives
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but
also
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in their personal
lives
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. In my opinion, the drawbacks of
this
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activity are twofold and outweigh the benefits of it. First of all, members of the public who take
risks
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in their job
lives
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may lose all of their achievements in the blink of an eye. Actually,
although
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they have a lot of knowledge in their fields, every person can make mistakes, and some of them are significantly disruptive.
In addition
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,
people
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who have
this
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spirit are easily deceived, so businesses manipulate them.
For instance
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, the majority of members of society lose all of their budget, which they collect in their
lives
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, by investing in pyramidal companies for a higher profit.
Further
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and even more importantly,
people
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who have a tendency to take
risks
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even if they succeed and obtain a huge amount of money,
they
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apply
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do not have
mind's
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a mind's
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health. Indeed, these
people
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always have stress that leads to detrimental effects on their health.
Moreover
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, whenever these ambitious
people
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,
due to
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their preferences, opt
something
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for something
show examples
in their personal
lives
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, they do not care about their extended or immediate family's attitudes. They,
hence
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, have a high possibility
to destroy
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of destroying
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their relationships, and they get
alone
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along
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after a period of time.
Thus
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,
this
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issue is prone to several ailments,
such
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as depression. In conclusion, taking
risks
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can cause several diseases and waste money.
Therefore
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, irrespective of some short-term positive aspects of it,
people
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must avoid it.
Submitted by speher2000behroozifar on

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Task Response
You have presented a balanced viewpoint on the topic and have included an introduction and a strong conclusion. To enhance your essay, ensure your main ideas are fully developed with additional examples or explanations.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay is logically organized with an effective introduction and conclusion. However, some transitional phrases or sentences could be more varied to improve the natural flow of the argument.
Task Response
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frames the response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Main ideas are logically structured, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct disadvantage of risk-taking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
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