Some say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and age together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#say #music #people #cultures #age

Music

as an art is

integral

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an integral

show examples

part of

scoiety

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society

in different

countires

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countries

across the world. Many

people

think that

music

unites

people

of different

ethinicity

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ethnicity

civilization

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civilizations

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toghether

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together

. I strongly agree

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with

show examples

this

arguement

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argument

agreement

and I will explain why along with examples in

this

essay.

Firstly

music

is liked or

practiced

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practised

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by almost all the

people

knowingly or unknowingly in all the countries across the world.

Moreover

people

grow up hearing

music

from their childhood from various musical instruments in different places or occasions like temples, marriage occasions, birthday parties.

Also

music

does not

boundries

Correct your spelling

boundaries

for example

people

in India tend to enjoy western

music

persian

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Persian

show examples

music

a lot, even though they really do not understand the themes behind it.

Furthermore

, good

music

always unites

people

For example

people

migrating to different

countires

Correct your spelling

countries

tend to hear the local

music

, attend concerts and make friendships with them.

This

would

also

given

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give

be given

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an opportunity for the

migrats

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migrants

to learn

thier

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their

culture, tradition and how

live

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to live

show examples

in foreign soil. Adding to it,

this

also

one of the main

reason

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reasons

show examples

many celebrities hosts

music

concert

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concerts

show examples

to bring

people

of different

culture

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cultures

show examples

age

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ages

show examples

and races together so as to bring harmony to the

soceity

Correct your spelling

society

we live in.

Lastly

music

is enjoyed by almost all the

people

and

hence

I strongly believe

music

is one of the

tool

Change to a plural noun

tools

show examples

that could bring together the

people

of various

age

Fix the agreement mistake

ages

show examples

, culture

ethinicity

Correct your spelling

ethnicity

Submitted by gikarthikeyan on Sat Jul 03 2021

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Word Count

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

233 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and age together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Word Count

The only way to improve safety on our roads is to give much stricter punishments for driving offences. What extent do you agree or disagree?

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