Some say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and age together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#say #music #people #cultures #age

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Music

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as an art is

integral

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an integral

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part of

scoiety

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society

in different

countires

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countries

across the world. Many

people

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think that

music

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unites

people

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of different

ethinicity

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ethnicity

civilization

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civilizations

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toghether

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together

. I strongly agree

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with

show examples

this

Linking Words

arguement

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argument

agreement

and I will explain why along with examples in

this

Linking Words

essay.

Firstly

Linking Words

music

Use synonyms

is liked or

practiced

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practised

show examples

by almost all the

people

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knowingly or unknowingly in all the countries across the world.

Moreover

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

grow up hearing

music

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from their childhood from various musical instruments in different places or occasions like temples, marriage occasions, birthday parties.

Also

Linking Words

music

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does not

boundries

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boundaries

for example

Linking Words

people

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in India tend to enjoy western

music

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persian

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Persian

show examples

music

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a lot, even though they really do not understand the themes behind it.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, good

music

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always unites

people

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For example

Linking Words

people

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migrating to different

countires

Correct your spelling

countries

tend to hear the local

music

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, attend concerts and make friendships with them.

This

Linking Words

would

also

Linking Words

given

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give

be given

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an opportunity for the

migrats

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migrants

to learn

thier

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their

culture, tradition and how

live

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to live

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in foreign soil. Adding to it,

this

Linking Words

also

Linking Words

one of the main

reason

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reasons

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many celebrities hosts

music

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concert

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concerts

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to bring

people

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of different

culture

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cultures

show examples

age

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ages

show examples

and races together so as to bring harmony to the

soceity

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society

we live in.

Lastly

Linking Words

music

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is enjoyed by almost all the

people

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and

hence

Linking Words

I strongly believe

music

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is one of the

tool

Change to a plural noun

tools

show examples

that could bring together the

people

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of various

age

Fix the agreement mistake

ages

show examples

, culture

ethinicity

Correct your spelling

ethnicity

Submitted by gikarthikeyan on Sat Jul 03 2021

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

233 words

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Some say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and age together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Word Count

Holding International games such as The Olympic Games is an exciting event. Some people think that it has positive effects while other argue that it is a waste of money. Dicuss both sides of view and give your own opinion.

It is believed that secondary school children should study international news as one of their school subjects. Others think that this is a waste of valuable school time. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes commited each year. While some think the best way is to use the death penalty as a detterent, many people believe that other measures will be needed.