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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Violence in the media promote violent in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#violence #media #society
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Whether or not showing violent scenes in movies and TV Shows encourage violent behaviour in our society is one of the most controversial topics in the modern world. There is no doubt that what we see on television affect some of our life choices to some extent.
However
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, I am certain that people do not become violent just because they saw it on television. In the following essay, I will provide arguments to prove that point.
To begin
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, it is generally known that our surroundings and peers make a huge impact on us.
Thus
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 those two factors are mainly responsible for our behaviour. If children and youth witness acts of brutality in the family, they are more likely to act
similarly
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 when they are adults. And it is irrelevant if they were exposed to violent content in the
media
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 or not.
Additionally
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, if the television and news were solely responsible for the violence, there would not have been any crimes in the past. And it is a known fact, that there was criminal activity in those times as well. Another factor to consider is that the majority of crimes were committed while the assailant was intoxicated.
Hence
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, it can be concluded that substance abuse and addictions contribute to
an increased criminal offences
Correct the article-noun agreement
an increased criminal offence
increased criminal offences
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 in society and not the
media
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.
Moreover
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, a number of psychological factors must be taken into consideration. It is generally accepted that sociopathic tendencies and lack of empathy are to blame for an upward trend in felonies.
However
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, exposing mentally unstable people to violent content in
media
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 could be a trigger for some of them. In the final analysis, while
media
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 coverage of violence could result in an increased rate of criminal offences, it does not play the main role in it. I firmly believe that social factors, as well as psychological ones, impact in far more vast degree.
Submitted by yerassem on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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