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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that individuals over 65 should not be allowed to continue working. Others think that people should be allowed to work for as long as they choose. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #individuals #work
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In my countries the world over, it has been observed that
people
 after the age of 60 start to face health-related issues. Resultantly, whereas some individuals claim that it should not be permitted to do any jobs by elderly
people
 over 65 ages, others contend that
people
 have the right to choose until when they will continue to do
work
. I, too, wholeheartedly feel that it should be the individual decision when he or she wants to stop working. Inasmuch as it is the natural phenomenon to suffer from many diseases
such
 as diabetes, cardiovascular disorder, memory loss to name but a few at a later stage of life, a person should not be allowed after the age of 65.
In other words
, if an individual having some health problems continues to
work
 an elderly life, it not only has disastrous repercussions on his or her health but
also
 has negative impacts on the quality of
work
. To cite an example, researchers around the world have found that the productivity of old workers is 20% less compared to the efficiency level of young labours.
Thus
, in order to save old-age
people
 from
further
 ailments because of doing works and reduce the number of low quality
work
, elderly individuals should not be given permission to
work
. Plausible though it may seem that many physical disorders hinder the working capacity of
people
 over 65, it worth arguing that
people
 should be allowed to take their own decision until when they want to do
work
.
This
 is mainly because having state-of-the-art treatment facilities help
people
 nowadays stay energetic and fir for longer life. As a consequence, if a healthy elderly person is not allowed to do
work
, there is a high chance of having mental depression down to spend idle time. To exemplify, an empirical study conducted by Oxford University reveals that 90% of old
people
 are suffering from a mental disorder due to not having an opportunity to do any productive works. In conclusion, admittedly, over-aged
people
 sometimes cannot do properly because of health issues but it can be overcome easily.
Hence
, I unequivocally buttress the stand of giving permission to elderly
people
 to do
work
.
Submitted by shawlin90 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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