IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disavantages

#people #world #media #touch #news #events #disavantages
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Whether using social networking
sites
 every day is one of the best ways that help individuals get in touch with others all over the world and access
news
 is a recurring argument.
This
 writer argues that the benefits of getting more relationships and exchanging their culture outweigh the drawbacks of addition. The most advantageous factor of using social media to contact and find
news
 is that it can help
people
 develop better relationships in society.
In other words
,
people
 can take advantage of the knowledge related to the internet to make friends through social networking
sites
 and create more connections with each other not only in their country but
also
 globally easily. From prior knowledge, in the state-of-the-art life now, most
people
 take part in and frequently use social media
such
 as Facebook, Instagram, Twitter,.... to find the
news
 and make new friends with others around the world.
Thus
, social media is a convenient way to connect and access
news
 easily. Exchanging the customs and culture with the other country must
also
 be considered. It must be recognised that citizens can gain more information related to the culture or the customs of other nations than they have ever gone by creating more relationships and accessing the
news
 through networking
sites
as well as
 exchanging my nation the international.
As a result
,
people
 can easily exchange their customs
as well as
 gain more information about it.
Therefore
, networking
sites
 are
also
 the best way to help
people
 develop their own associations.
However
, a few
people
 can control themselves avoiding the addition of the internet. They believe that you can control your ability when using the internet or depend on it so much.
This
 may be true, but the community and exchanging online
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 will be the best way that help them remove
this
 advantage.
Consequently
, networking
sites
 are
also
 a good method that helps their life become easier . Taking all points into account, the possible impact of being added is outweighed by the connection between the other ones and the exchanging of their costume.
Hence
, getting more connections and exchanging cultures can be more beneficial in the future.
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Introduction Clarity
Ensure your introduction clearly states your stance and briefly outlines your main points to guide the reader.
Logical Structure
Work on structuring your paragraphs with clear topic sentences that relate directly back to the main argument to enhance logical structure.
Coherence
To improve coherence, make sure each paragraph flows smoothly from one to the next through logical connections and transitional phrases.
Support with Examples
Provide specific examples to support your points. This makes your argument more convincing and demonstrates the task's complete understanding.
Grammar and Spelling
Be careful with spelling, punctuation, and grammatical errors, as these can confuse readers and detract from the clarity of your arguments.
Conclusion Clarity
Revise your conclusion to clearly summarize your main points and restate your stance, ensuring it logically follows from the arguments provided.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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