IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

One of your friends plans to go sightseeing in your country. You used to live in a place that you think she might enjoy visiting. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter you should: briefly describe the attractions of this place recommend accommodation and suggest what he/she should take.

#friends #plans #country #place #friend #attractions #accommodation
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My Dear Sara, Hey Sara! It is that time of year again when we have our annual get-together, Anyway, I have heard through the grapevine that you plan to come to my place. Let me start with the introduction of Saudi Arabia,
first,
it includes numerous awestruck cities,
such
 as Riyadh,Jeddah,Dammam ,and Abha city, and you already know that I live in Riyadh, which is the capital of Saudi Arabia, and all others cities have a unique advantage. Moving to the heart of the matter, I really do enjoy myself here,
therefore
, we have to go to Mohammed bin Salman Street, Almamlka Tower, and the city museum, and
thus
, you have to book a room in my hotel called ' Rined'.
Lastly
, you should bring one or two jackets , a Saudi traditional uniform, and your Canon camera, because you will need it, especially, when you see all of the aesthetic appeal of
this
 country. Speak to you soon my man , keep in touch! All the best, Raheel
Submitted by x.ra5eelah on

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tone
Try to avoid informal language in a semi-formal or formal letter. Phrases like 'Hey Sara!' and 'Speak to you soon my man' are more suitable for very casual contexts.
structure
Organize your ideas into clear paragraphs. Each paragraph should represent a distinct idea or section of your letter, e.g., introduction, main content, and conclusion.
detail
Be specific and provide more details about the attractions and reasons why they are worth visiting. Adding specific examples or experiences can enhance the appeal of your recommendation.
vocabulary
Your letter could benefit from a more varied vocabulary and sentence structures to better engage the reader and demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.
content
Good attempt at describing the attractions of the place and recommending accommodation.
practical advice
Appropriate suggestions on what your friend should bring, making the letter useful and practical.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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